Wednesday, December 20

Old Friends and Orgasmic Pees

Hello old friend! This is addressed to you, my blog, and to my inebriation. Hello Thighsighs and Drunken Thighs McGee! It's been a while!

I had a delicious dinner at an Astoria steakhouse called Christos. This was probably my fifth time there and it never disappoints. Neither does the company - Pirate 1 and Pirate 2 (P1 and P2) are wonderful steakmates, Crazy Ass mates, and good mates in general.

So where have I been for 2017?  Actually mostly New York, but a good portion was in Europe. I've been traveling to London and Paris for work almost every month this year. What's that like, you ask?

First, IT'S AMAZING. Honest to gawd, I can't believe it when I say, "I'm working in London and/or Paris for this week." Whenever I tell someone I go to either city I smile to myself in disbelief.

Second, I'm travel beat. I barely took any trips for myself this year because I'm so tired traveling for work. The only personal trips I took were within driving distance - Pittsburgh in January, visited Rolo in New Hampshire in May, spent a week in Seaside Heights with my parents, then took a staycation (!!) the week of Thanksgiving. My last week of vacation starts tomorrow at 5pm. MD and I are heading back to Pittsburgh for Christmas, then Rippie and his girlfriend Veev are spending a few days with us in NY. I miss jet-setting for myself!

Last, I'm work beat. The Europe projects aren't going well and I continuously have new projects added. There is zero support from upper management, so basically it's a stressful shitshow on a daily basis. That said, I am mature and self-aware enough to realize that I am in control of my own stress and have yet to master managing it. It is not a toxic environment like Minnow, it's not a mindfuck like Company. It's just that once again a job does not live up to my high expectations. See, I've grown!

I'm so happy I'm writing. I've been thinking about this for a while. It's funny I decided to post while I'm drunk considering this is an occasional thing nowadays. I "quit" drinking back in 2014, but this year I've slowly started drinking again. Well, not that slow - after the election results in November I took up drinking sort of hard through January, then it's only like once a month. Not like I used to drink of course, but enough to get a buzz and occasionally drunk like tonight. It only takes me about three drinks to feel it now, so I'm not that concerned. I was concerned about drinking over the state of the world. Today I drank because I just felt like it. That's a better reason.  Wine and sangria only. It's the Raisinet mindset; it's healthy because it's made with fruit!

I don't think I have much more to say. The reason my blog has been on my mind is I'd like to write about approaching 40. ACK ACK ACK! Holy dirty fucks! 40!

So hopefully you'll hear from me again soon.

Oh and in case you're wondering, I had one of the top 10 pees of my life before I wrote this.


Wednesday, August 2



  • a strong desire to do or to achieve something, typically requiring determination and hard work.
  • desire and determination to achieve success.

Ambitious people always seemed to be cutthroat, selfish jerk-offs to me.  I never really looked at ambition as a positive trait, grouping it along with materialistic or petty or mean.

So it was pretty funny last night when my psychiatrist Rah said, "Well, you've always been ambitious."


I had a similar reaction a few years ago when a friend said I was confident. Confident?? Me? What the hell are you talking about?  I have low self-esteem, I am vulnerable, I obsess over what people think of me.  That said, most of the time I don't give a fuck, but that's not the same as being it?

I am ambitious.

I am confident.

I can feel my heart fill as I write these words. It's the strangest thing.

How have I gotten this far in life without knowing who or what or how I am?

What else am I missing??