Monday, March 30

A second date!

Holy crap, I actually had a second date. And holier crap, my list of things to do/not do FLEW out the window. At least I'm learning!

1. Do not go to a loud bar after dinner, especially one that is on an Argyle-sweater-wearing-golfer pub crawl. It is too easy to say okay to "This sucks, let's go to your place so we can hang out alone."

2. When specifically asked about leaving Company keep answer short and sweet: "Oh it was just time to go."

3. When specifically asked if I like my current job, say yes and leave it alone.

4. I realized for a negative person like myself, being positive means a whole lot of lying.

5. Listening to my tummy is a good thing.

6. I'm strangely attracted to lower lips. Nice, kissable, full ones. Or maybe just his.

7. Take Nyquil if he snores.

And the biggest thing I learned on my second date is that I am still a commitment-phobe. I like this guy, but I'm ready to walk away. Why though? What am I afraid of? That I'm going to get my hopes up and he won't like me back? Helloooo...been there, done that. See two posts back for christ sakes. What happens if I'm afraid he WILL like me back?

I don't like letting people in. Yes it's ironic to write that in a personal blog, but it's the truth. My "in" is too crazy for me to handle sometimes, how can I expect anyone else to handle it?

Thursday, March 26

Love Challenged

I am love challenged.

Or maybe I’m not love challenged, maybe I’m making love A challenge. You know what I’ve been doing ever since the date I had on Tuesday? I emailed Job, I looked up Krull on Facebook, checked to see if Long Red had been on OKC, and thought about Donovan. Then today my friend from work mentioned this guy she wanted to hook me up with a few months ago and now I’m sitting here bummed out that he didn’t like me.

What the fuck is wrong with me? Why can't I just enjoy the fact that I had a nice time with someone? Why do I constantly bang my head against the wall thinking about guys who don’t like me? Why aren’t I strong enough to say fuck them and move on?

Why, why, why. The "whys" are killing me! Why didn’t they like me? Why wasn't I the one? Why didn’t it work out?

The joke is I'm not sure if I even want an answer!

I always figure the reason is because I’m overweight. I can deal with this because that’s MY hang up. But what happens if it’s not the reason? What happens if it’s because I’m not funny enough or smart enough or interesting enough? What happens if it’s because I said an obnoxious joke about sucking dick and they were turned off? What happens if I was too clingy or too boring or too into them or…

ARGH. Enough. My head hurts.

Tuesday, March 24

Dating Data

An OKC guy asked me out and suggested we go to my usual pub. How weird is that?? We went out tonight. I had a really nice time!

I'm actually keeping a log of all the things I should/shouldn't do or say on dates. I think this one went well because I:

1. kept my vag in my pants.

2. was positive about my life even though I have no idea what I'm doing.

3. didn't talk about Company. Sadly I still make it sound like an ex-husband.

4. listened instead of waited to speak.

5. relaxed.

6. ordered something that was easy to eat and hard to make a mess of, even for me.

7. wasn't sarcastic. Some guys don't seem to get my sense of humor.

8. didn't offer to pay. I'm not sure if this matters or not, but the Millionaire Matchmaker says it does. Yes I'm pathetic, but at least I'm trying!

I think it also went well because he's super nice and personable. Cute, too! We have plans to go out again on Saturday.

Cheese, please!

Thursday, March 19

Daisy May BBQ

There's a Daisy May BBQ cart right outside Minnow. I had a pulled pork and coleslaw sandwich with a side of rice and beans for lunch.

It was mind-blowingly delicious.

Breen said I look like I just got laid. I feel like I smoked a bowl, THEN got laid.

Food coooommmaaa...

Monday, March 16

Best Tampon Ad Ever

Sunday, March 15


As promised last year, my birthday celebration kicked off with seeing Watchmen.

I liked and disliked it. Visually it was all there. Emotionally it wasn't. I realize now the overwhelming feelings I had at the theater came from me and my love of the book, not from the movie.

At this point, all that matters that Watchmen is getting more mainstream recognition. I love seeing people read it on the subway. I love walking past B&N and having a blood stained yellow happy face smile back at me. I love DC's After Watchmen campaign, a guide for people who would like to read more graphic novels, but aren't sure what to buy next.

I know there are some who would disagree, but I think all comic movies are good for the industry. Was I worried Watchmen would get fucked up? Of course and I don't think it did, but in the end, who cares? It doesn't change how I feel about the book and the characters. Even the worst comic movies don't stop longtime fans from reading. In my mind a comic film was a success if it gets one non-reader to buy his (or her!) first issue or graphic novel. Watchmen is doing just that, which is why I'm glad it was made, even if it didn't end up being one of my favorite films. Being one of my favorite books is enough for me!

Friday, March 13

Dirty Minnow

Minnow has a children's format description called "BOARD BOOK/SUPER CHUBBY."

Hee hee.

Thursday, March 12

Emails to a coworker

From: Thighs
Sent: Thursday, March 12, 2009 3:00 PM
Subject: Snicker-less

I’m finally out of Snickers and now I really want chocolate.

From: Thighs
Sent: Thursday, March 12, 2009 3:01 PM
Subject: RE: Snicker-less

PS I can’t focus today. I need to do documentation but I do my best work at home. I guess I’ll just coast until then…

From: Thighs
Sent: Thursday, March 12, 2009 3:01 PM
Subject: RE: Snicker-less

PPS The long redhead guy from OKCupid hasn’t asked me out yet. We’ve been emailing pretty regularly, but I’m getting impatient.

From: Thighs
Sent: Thursday, March 12, 2009 3:02 PM
Subject: RE: Snicker-less

PPPS I’m gonna go poo.

From: Thighs
Sent: Thursday, March 12, 2009 3:10 PM
Subject: RE: Snicker-less

PPPPS Successful, but rushed. Not sure why.

Monday, March 9

I watch too much TV.

I just did a cheer to a Hillshire Farm commercial.

The ad ends with: "When I say Hillshire, you say Farm!", "Hillshire!", "Farm!", "Go Meat!"

I was writing my brother an email when all of a sudden, without even realizing the commercial was on, my right arm shot halfway up in the air on the "Go", then punched straight up on the "Meat".

Help me.

Saturday, March 7

Pisces Power Pukage

Last night was Jules and I fifth joint-birthday celebration. It was so great to see everyone. Love yous and thanks for coming!

I had a really nice time, except for one thing. I was SICK. Like really sick. I didn't want to tell anyone, but I could not stop puking. I don't know what happened!! I only had four beers!! I don't know if it was because I had the flu all week or I ate something bad or the Guinness was stank (was anyone else drinking it?) or I finally broke my was so gross!

The last time I threw up at my birthday party was when I turned 24 (I think). We were somewhere on the UWS. I did three shots as soon as we got there, made out with some guy who said I needed chapstick (I did), and made myself (MADE myself) go throw up so that I could keep drinking. I used to do that a lot actually. Issues.

So again, I really did love seeing everyone, I just wish I felt like myself. I hope you all had a good time, though!

Monday, March 2

Blame Ruth Clare

It's 7:30pm. Class was cancelled due to the snowstorm. This is awesome timing because I'm not feeling too well and didn't want to get home late.

I'm tempted to go to bed right now.

Ooo, maybe I'll watch Wheel first. I turning 31 or 91?? Must. Fight. Urge. To. Act. Elderly.

Ah screw it. Ruth Clare wins.