Love Challenged

I am love challenged.

Or maybe I’m not love challenged, maybe I’m making love A challenge. You know what I’ve been doing ever since the date I had on Tuesday? I emailed Job, I looked up Krull on Facebook, checked to see if Long Red had been on OKC, and thought about Donovan. Then today my friend from work mentioned this guy she wanted to hook me up with a few months ago and now I’m sitting here bummed out that he didn’t like me.

What the fuck is wrong with me? Why can't I just enjoy the fact that I had a nice time with someone? Why do I constantly bang my head against the wall thinking about guys who don’t like me? Why aren’t I strong enough to say fuck them and move on?

Why, why, why. The "whys" are killing me! Why didn’t they like me? Why wasn't I the one? Why didn’t it work out?

The joke is I'm not sure if I even want an answer!

I always figure the reason is because I’m overweight. I can deal with this because that’s MY hang up. But what happens if it’s not the reason? What happens if it’s because I’m not funny enough or smart enough or interesting enough? What happens if it’s because I said an obnoxious joke about sucking dick and they were turned off? What happens if I was too clingy or too boring or too into them or…

ARGH. Enough. My head hurts.