Sunday, January 25

Chinese New Year

Last night I watched an amazing East River firework show from my bedroom window. I'm pretty sure they were in celebration of the Chinese New Year. I found this video online. Yaaaay fireworks!

I plan on going to Chinatown next weekend and checking out the parade. Here's a list of all the upcoming events, let me know if you're interested!


I am currently flipping between NFL Countdown on ESPN and an America's Next Top Model rerun on Oxygen. I'll throw Rock of Love Bus into the mix at 11:30am when the early show airs.

Sports, beauties, and smut. Sounds about right.

Thursday, January 22

Pee Ess

I totally wiped out at the bar tonight. All it took was three margaritas, two worn down flats, and one slippery floor. I did the non-limber fatty cheerleader split where the front leg is straight and the back leg is bent at a 90 degree angle. That was the landing; I managed to bang my knee pretty hard on the way down. D'oh!

Emotionless Memories of Emotional Times

Most of my memories are associated with emotion. When I go back to Jackson I immediately feel self-conscious and disconnected. A couple of years ago when I saw THE ex-boyfriend I immediately felt a rush of love, passion, confusion, and pain.

I'm assuming this happens to most people. I have to ask though:

Is a memory worth remembering without emotion?

Tonight I was reminded of a very painful and upsetting period a few years back. The interesting thing about it was I didn't actually remember the FEELINGS associated with this memory, rather I simply acknowledged having felt them at the time. I sat there thinking, "Wow. This is weird. Am I uncomfortable hearing this? I don't think I am. I am completely devoid of emotion right now. Who am I??"

And my question includes positive memories as well. Most of the things I liked in my youth still rile up some good feelings. I'm sure if someone threw me a pack of Big League Chew I would beam for hours while I stuffed the whole bag in my mouth in one shot. (Eating it this way is practically mandatory.) In fact, I can't think of anything I used to like that doesn't still make me feel a flicker of joy...

I don't really know where I'm going with this. I'm buzzed and perplexed and in the mood to write. I just find it so interesting that my mind remembered something that my heart forgot.

Wednesday, January 21

Blonde Moment #138

I have two Gmail accounts, a personal one and a Thighsighs one. I just logged out of my personal one to view my Thighs mail. Still no word from Jeremy Shockey or Jon Gruden.

I guess I didn't actually log out of the Thighs mail because when I went back to my personal account "Thighs McGee" was listed as available on chat.

Weird, right?

So what did I do?

I IMed myself.

Guess what happened.


Wait, it gets better.

Guess what I wrote.


Jesus Christ I'm blonde.

New Looking for Grace trailer

There's a new trailer up for my brother and his friends' webseries. Check it out!

Oh and there's a close-up of a bearded guy's face and hands...that's Rip!

No Boobies

I'm not having a superbowl party this year. I wasn't really into throwing it to begin with, then the Giant heartbreaking loss against the Eagles sealed the deal.

I know the point of having an annual superbowl party is to have it every year (duh) no matter who plays, it's just that I'm still a bit upset to enjoy myself. I think last year's awesomeness and the Giants' regular season performance really made me believe they'd win it again. Stupid stupids.

I'm very excited to pass the boob to MJ and Steve-O this year. It's crazy to think this would have been my fifth Super Boobie Bowl, though. I can't believe I've been in Queens that long already! Seems like Delilah and I just met yesterday...

Tuesday, January 20


I need to get laid.

You ever get so angry that you reach this peak of angerdom where you become eerily cool, calm, collected, and (for me anyways) pale? I think I've reached that point of horny. I'm so horny that I don't think it's even called horny anymore. I don't know what to call it...yearn-y, maybe?

yearning [yur-ning] - noun: prolonged unfulfilled desire or need

It was so easy for me to get laid when I didn't care who I was banging:

"You're sitting next to me at a Rangers game? Let's have sex."
"Your initials are SM? Mine too! Let's have sex."
"You have freckles and a penis? Wanna have sex? Oh...we already had sex? Let's do it again!"

This whole caring about who I sleep with bullshit is well, bullshit. I hate it. Like really hate it. And you know what I REALLY hate about really hating it???


I'm glad I don't sleep around like I used to, but there was a reason I did! Yeah yeah, low-self esteem, commitment issues, blah blah, who gives a shit. The number one reason I slept around was because I LIKED TO FUCK. Plain and simple. We fucky, me likey.

Then there came (heh) a time when I stopped enjoying myself. I think I got so used to the bang and run that it almost became, dare I say it, boring. It was so easy, I was so easy, that the fun was gone. In order for me to enjoy sex again, I was going to have to care.

So here I am. I care now. And I haven't had sex in four months. Yaaaaayyy.

I would like the next guy I sleep with to be someone I really like, am extremely attracted to, and enjoy being around and vice versa. I want him to be all the usual things (kind, funny, charming, etc.), but I'd also like him to occasionally drag me by my hair up my four flights of stairs, throw me down on my living room floor, rip my clothes off, and fuck me stupid.

Yes of course I want him to respect me and treat me well, but a girl's got needs. I'm yearning for a meaningful, caring, passionate relationship that includes some hardcore love-fucking.

Great. Now I'm turned on. I need to get laid.

Friday, January 16

Doggie Durex


Sunday, January 11

And another blerg.

Job was at the bar watching the game with me today and I didn't make a move. Not one single move. I mean the fact that I'm calling it "a move" may mean that I don't actually have "moves" anymore to begin with, but still...

If I really want to date someone, wouldn't it be smart to try and make the effort to do so with a guy I've been attracted to for the past two years?

Double blerg.


The Giants lost today. Fucking shitbags. I'm not sure if I want to have a Super Boobie Bowl party this year...


Tuesday, January 6


I spent the last 20 minutes writing a post about something that really disappointed me at work today, but forget it. Right now I'm just grateful to have a job.

I can't help but feel like Goldilocks though. Company I cared too much, Minnow I care too little. Hopefully my next gig will be just right.

Monday, January 5

Online dating can suck it.

I am ready to come clean: I stink at online dating. I had a nice little stint there a couple months back, but now I'm feeling a bit self-conscious and a lot discouraged.

The guys that I don't want to chat with are either old, short, orange, misspelled words and/or used text phrases such as "I M GR8, HOW R U" in their About Mes, are surrounded by chicks in their profile pic (why?), or picked the screen name BIG_PUSSY_LOVER.

The guys I am somewhat attracted to say they go to the gym 8 days a week, read lots of books without pictures, and jetset every weekend. This bothers me because I don't even know what a "gym" is anymore, reading bores the shit out of me (there, I've said it!), and I don't have money to travel right now. Oooo...I thought what bothered me was feeling less-than again, but no, I think it's jealousy!! HA! Fuck you and your perfect profile! I like the color blue, that's all I have to say right now!

Then there are the guys that make me want to lick my monitor and hump my keyboard. Shocker: I haven't found one of those online yet. I was going to email this really hot redhead tonight, but I chickened out. He listed himself as "skinny" plus he lives in Hoboken and well, that's just dumb.

So why do I stink at online dating? It's way too easy to give up. I need to meet someone face to face. I also need support, encouragement, confidence, and accountability. In a word, I need a WINGWOMAN.

It's time to get offline and get off live. I am going out at least once a week with the sole purpose of meeting new people (girl or guy) that may lead me to my soulmate (guy, maybe girl if she has a nice rack). I want love, I want passion, I want a best friend, I want companionship, and while I'm at it, I want to be fucked silly during half-time.

I can't do this by myself so if you want to be my wing let's make some plans.

Good-bye, online dating. I'm going out.

Sunday, January 4




VH1 didn't show it, but one of the girls just drank a test tube shot from another girl's vajohn.

This is my favorite day of 2009.


Saturday, January 3


Since I was really sick over the 2007 holidays, I was determined to stay healthy this year, mainly so I could spend time with my brother.  I miss the stinker.

On Christmas night I decided to go out with him and his friends in Jackson.  Long story short I had a really good time, but made the mistake of drinking like I did as a Jersey youth.  Two words:  Bud Ice.

I have no idea how many I drank, but seriously, NEVER AGAIN.  I puked my guts out that night, had a raging hangover the next two days, and still have a cold over a week later.  I'm sure drinking outside in the winter, taking quite a few chugs of blackberry brandy, and two drags of a cigarette didn't help either, but let's just blame Budweiser.  I never liked their beers anyways.

Just for kicks I decided to look up the alcohol content.  Bud Ice is 5.5%.  This made me curious to see what the strength is of all my favorite beers from years past.

Teenage favorites - Honestly I drank what I could get, but when I had options:
Zima 4.8% (FA!!!)
Coors Light 4.2% (Yuck. I might hate Coors more than Budweiser now.)
Olde English 5.9% (You know, because Jackson is South Central Jersey.)

College favorites:
Icehouse 5.0% (Duh, this probably tasted just like Bud Ice now that I think about it.)
Yuengling Black and Tan 4.5%
Newcastle 4.5%
Bass 5.2%
Steel Reserve 8.1% (Not kidding. I'd buy a 40 for $2 and be set for the night.)

Adult favorites:
Ommegang 8.5%
Anchor Steam Liberty Ale 6.0%
Sierra Nevada 5.7% (Bottle only, I don't like it on tap.)
Stone Arrogant Bastard Ale 7.2%
Stone IPA 6.9%
Dogfish Head 60 Minute IPA 6.0%
I really just love IPAs in general.

Guinness 4.0% (My go-to beer since college.)
Amstel Light 3.6% (My lighter back-up.)
Corona 4.6% (During the summer or when eating Mexican food.)
Miller Lite 4.2% (Only at sporting events.)

Okay, it's settled. Bud Ice is stronger than most of my go-to beers. It's not as strong as my Adult favorites, but I can't drink too many of them anyways. Case in point, the last time I had Dogfish Head I was on a date. I drank three before the guy showed up (he was stuck at work) and was BOMBED. We didn't go out on a second date. Again, I blame Budweiser.

Friday, January 2

RU Slacker

I requested my college transcripts the other day.   I was SUCH a slacker!   My cumulative grade point average was a 1.8 when I got kicked out of school.  When I got back in I tried harder (ie I actually went to class), but still didn't give it my all.  I graduated with a 2.4. 

Obviously I didn't take advantage of the opportunities I had at Rutgers.  I honestly didn't recognize them at the time.  The funny thing is now I think it would be fun to be a professional student.  I really do love to learn and wish I could afford to go to school full time.  Maybe one day...

Man, I sure was ignorant in my twenties.  Thank Shizza they're over!

Thursday, January 1

Happy New Year!

I have officially decided that 2008 was a good year.  Woo hoo!

Over the past few weeks I kept saying it wasn't so bad.  Then I realized duh, if it wasn't so bad doesn't that mean it was good??

My 2008 resolution was to "work hard at being hot, debt free, and eventually, a creative professional."  Even though I'll still wear shorts over my bathing suit, have credit card debt, and need my analytical day job I don't feel like I failed.  This is one of my great successes of 2008: I'm learning how to stop beating myself up over everything.

Instead of thinking about all the things I should have done, I am pleasantly satisfied with all of the things I accomplished.  I got a job, took writing and art classes, stopped using my credit card, dated a few people, and started volunteering. I found out I have values (who knew?) and am consciously making the effort to live by them.  I feel mentally and emotionally stronger despite the occasional battles with Me and Myself.  And last but certainly not least, I am learning to be more grateful, especially for all of the good friends in my life.  That means YOU!

So yes, 2008 was a good year for me, mostly in an internal way.  Now I'm ready to set some concrete/external goals for 2009.  I'm still outlining them right now; basically the overall theme is to be proactive and productive.  I like feeling and thinking about things, but now I want results.

One resolution I can share now is to reconnect with Thighs again.  I promise to post more often.  I know some of you were sick of seeing "My Dick" for the past few weeks (Jules!).  Hey, it's better than pics of "My Vagina" though, right?