Tuesday, January 20

Love-fucking

I need to get laid.

You ever get so angry that you reach this peak of angerdom where you become eerily cool, calm, collected, and (for me anyways) pale? I think I've reached that point of horny. I'm so horny that I don't think it's even called horny anymore. I don't know what to call it...yearn-y, maybe?

yearning [yur-ning] - noun: prolonged unfulfilled desire or need

It was so easy for me to get laid when I didn't care who I was banging:

"You're sitting next to me at a Rangers game? Let's have sex."
"Your initials are SM? Mine too! Let's have sex."
"You have freckles and a penis? Wanna have sex? Oh...we already had sex? Let's do it again!"

This whole caring about who I sleep with bullshit is well, bullshit. I hate it. Like really hate it. And you know what I REALLY hate about really hating it???

I DON'T ACTUALLY HATE IT.

I'm glad I don't sleep around like I used to, but there was a reason I did! Yeah yeah, low-self esteem, commitment issues, blah blah, who gives a shit. The number one reason I slept around was because I LIKED TO FUCK. Plain and simple. We fucky, me likey.

Then there came (heh) a time when I stopped enjoying myself. I think I got so used to the bang and run that it almost became, dare I say it, boring. It was so easy, I was so easy, that the fun was gone. In order for me to enjoy sex again, I was going to have to care.

So here I am. I care now. And I haven't had sex in four months. Yaaaaayyy.

I would like the next guy I sleep with to be someone I really like, am extremely attracted to, and enjoy being around and vice versa. I want him to be all the usual things (kind, funny, charming, etc.), but I'd also like him to occasionally drag me by my hair up my four flights of stairs, throw me down on my living room floor, rip my clothes off, and fuck me stupid.

Yes of course I want him to respect me and treat me well, but a girl's got needs. I'm yearning for a meaningful, caring, passionate relationship that includes some hardcore love-fucking.

Great. Now I'm turned on. I need to get laid.

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