My Dick

Does anyone know this song? I can't stop laughing, but I'm not sure if it's because of the lyrics or because I'm old...

My dick cost a late night fee
Your dick got the HIV
My dick plays on the double feature screen
Your dick went straight to DVD

My dick- bigger than a bridge
Your dick look like a little kid's
My dick- large like the Chargers, the whole team
Your shit look like you fourteen

My dick- locked in a cage, right
Your dick suffer from stage fright
My dick- so hot, it's stolen
Your dick look like Gary Coleman

My dick- pink and big
Your dick stinks like shit
My dick got a Caesar do,
Your dick needs a tweezer, dude

My dick is like super size
Your dick look like two fries
My dick- more mass than the Earth
Your dick- half staff, it needs work

My dick- been there done that
Your dick sits there with dunce cap
My dick- V.I.P.
Your shit needs I.D.

It's time that we let the world know
Dude, you gotta let your girl go
D.S. is the best in the business
P.S. we got dicks like Jesus

It's time that we let the world know
Dude, you gotta let your girl go
D.S. is the best in the business
P.S. we got dicks like Jesus

My dick need no introduction
Your dick don't even function
My dick served a whole lunch-in
Your dick- it look like a munchkin

My dick- size of a pumpkin
Your dick look like Macaulay Culkin
My dick- good good lovin'
Your dick- good for nothin'

My dick bench pressed 350
Your dick couldn't shoplift at Thrifty
My dick- pretty damn skimpy
Your dick- hungry as a hippie

My dick don't fit down the chimney
Your dick is like a kid from the Philippines
My dick is like an M16
Your dick- broken vending machine

My dick parts the seas
Your dick farts and queefs
My dick- rumble in the jungle
Your dick got touched by your uncle

My dick goes to yoga
Your dick- fruit roll-up
My dick- grade-A beef
Your dick- Mayday geek

My dick- sick and dangerous
Your dick- quick and painless
My dick- 'nuff said.
Your dick loves Fred

It's time that we let the world know
Dude, you gotta let your girl go
D.S. is the best in the business
P.S. we got dicks like Jesus

It's time that we let the world know
Dude, you gotta let your girl go
D.S. is the best in the business
P.S. we got dicks like Jesus

My favorite football commercial

I get teary-eyed when I watch this. In a good way.

Enough blue.

I am in love with Christina Hendricks.  I watched the first three episodes of Mad Men last night. Holy fucking gorgeous.  

I never thought I'd use this phrase, but man, I would eat her with a spoon.



Nothing like a little red to keep me from feeling blue.

The battle continues...

Before I begin, I'm okay now.

I haven't been feeling well for the past few months.  I'm lost, I'm sad, I'm crying every day again. I have zero motivation to post, write, color, hang out, go to the gym, clean the apartment, hell do anything except watch television. 

This started around mid-September.  I thought facing my financial problems was the sole reason for the extra anxiety, but I know the pain goes much deeper.  I feel scared, hopeless, stressed, negative, disillusioned, over-sensitive, and most of all, depressed.

And then it hit me!!  Depressed??  I feel depressed??  Of course I feel depressed!  I HAVE DEPRESSION!

As dumb as this may sound, I totally forgot that I am clinically depressed.  I also forgot that I only stopped taking Zoloft in July so it would make sense that my depression would "come back" after the medication left my system.

I figured this out on Monday.  The next day I had a ten hour panic attack.  It was horrible.

For me, having a panic attack feels like I'm waiting to die.  It's an intense mix of despair, disconnect, and anguish.  I sat at my desk hoping that I'd fall asleep and never wake up. 

I'm not sure what triggered the panic attack, but I know what fed it.  All I kept thinking was, "FUCK.  Now I have to go back on Zoloft."  This scared me more than dying.  Why?  Because I don't want to need it.  I wish I could be fucking normal and not have to take medication to think or deal or function.  I wish my mind wasn't my own worst enemy.

The battle between Me and I continues.