Wednesday, February 17

Fruit Logic

If an apple and a banana were talking and the banana said to the apple, "I like hanging out with apples. I hung out with oranges and I didn't enjoy them as much as apples." would it be wrong for the apple to assume:

A. Banana likes apples.
B. Banana does not like oranges as much as apples.
C. Banana will stop hanging out with oranges.

A and B are logical conclusions. C is not. Banana didn't say anything about not hanging out with oranges, it merely said it enjoyed the company of apples more. Apple wrongly assumed the banana would take action against oranges, when no action was mentioned.

Now if banana continued with, "I told grape I don't like oranges either and discussed keeping them out of the fruit bowl. Grape was okay with this as long as I'm happy." would it then be safe to assume:

A. Grape and banana are friends.
B. Banana does not want oranges in the fruit bowl.
C. Grape is okay with not having oranges in the fruit bowl.
D. Grape doesn't want oranges in the fruit bowl either.

Again A and B are good. C and D are not. You might argue C is good, but if banana is a douchebag liar then it is not. And if banana is a douchebag liar, then none of the above is true either and not worth continuing. Deductive reasoning and lies don't mix.

How does this story end? A couple days later banana decides to tell apple that oranges are better. In the meantime apple told prune what banana said and it gets back to grape. Grape is infuriated that apple hung out with banana in the first place and tells apple to stay away from banana. Banana gets away with it all and ends up marrying an orange. Apple is banished from the fruit bowl and hopes someone will make pie soon.

The end.


Heather said...

In the end, we're all fruit. ;)

Jennifer Juniper said...

Why is banana such a dick in your story! What do you have against bananas!?!?!?!?!