My eyes were glued...

not to the TV or a movie.  Literally glued.

Last night I fixed a picture that was bonded to one of those box wall frames.  I used Krazy Glue and some of it got on the frame itself, so I casually wiped it off with my finger.

About 10 minutes later I rinsed my hands without scrubbing, forgetting about the glue, then proceeded to take my contacts out.  I realized half way through removing them from my right eye, freaked, and yanked.

I now have a dry patch on my eye, while typical after wearing my contacts all day seems to be due to the glue and/or the yankage. (Heh.)  I rinsed my eye out a lot last night, put some drops in, and am now surfing the web to find funny shit to make me laugh-cry with the hope my salty tears will help.

Of course some websites say IMMEDIATE DEATH AND BLINDNESS.  Others say there's no harm (really?) and the glue will clear with time.  It must have been pretty dry by the time I took my contact out, so I'm guessing/hoping the irritation is mostly the yankage.

Yet another blonde moment, even though I'm currently a ginger. Remember this?

I AM SO SORRY BODY.

Good afternoon, boys and girls!!

What a glorious day!  I'm digging the fall thus far and it's only going to get better!

I am already super duper psyched for the holidays.  Methinks I'll be Florence Welch from the video Dog Days Are Over for Halloween, as long as I can find a kimono that's close enough to this one:

And now that I'm a redhead I can easily rock this look!!

This past week was fantastical.  I had dinner with the girls Saturday, spent the day with the Bear family on Sunday, managed to randomly score tickets for Sarah Silverman and Reggie Watts show Monday, and watched the Mets win against the Pirates last night as well as David Wright breaking the team's all-time career hits record.

On Saturday Slow Jams and I are going to the survival course in Central Park, then I'm pretty sure my parents are staying over that night for a date in the city.  Tomorrow is their 38th wedding anniversary!! Crazy bastards.  I'm not sure what their plan is for Sunday, although I will be watching the Giants game at 8pm.  Yay football!  Oh and Monday night is Jay-Z!!  Yay fun!!

MDLL and I discussed personal and long-term goals the other night.  The days his mute characterness are thankfully over.  We have such an honest and open communication now that it's... gosh I don't know even know what it is.  I feel really lucky and loved.

I decided to make a new list of goals:

1.  Continue to pay off debt

2.  Move in with MDLL to a spacious 2-3 bedroom apartment with a big living room and lots of light, with a safe stove that doesn't share a wall with a living room or bedroom, each bedroom having a fire escape attached.  The apartment must be clean, bug and mice free and it would be great to find a place with a backyard big enough for MDLL to grill and me to garden.  Nice neighbors, good 'hood (preferably still in Astoria), on a tree lined street near the trains and a good school.  All for less than $1800 a month.

3.  Marry MDLL

4.  Have one or two children.  Or one kid and maybe adopt.

5.  Travel to Hawaii, Tibet, and finish my baseball tour (11 parks left!).

6.  Be healthy and fit.

7.  Practice yoga and mediation on a regular basis.

8.  Read more books!!

9.  Have a plentiful savings and IRA, so that we can afford to enjoy our retirement and take care of our parents and children.

10.  Breakthrough my creative obstacles by paintin, drawing, coloring, or writing something at least once a day.

Yay goals!!  Now to figure out when to complete them all!

AAAHHH!!! Vacation!!

I told MDLL a few months ago that I'd like him to plan a vacation for us since I always plan our dates. Well he finally spilled the beans...

Sunday, October 21st through Friday, October 26th...

wait for it...

WE'RE GOING TO PUERTO RICO!!  AAAHHHHHH!!

I feel like I just won a contest or something!  A love contest!  SO GAY!

AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!

San Juan, here we come!

Thingamajigs

Whaddup fools??

It's another beautiful Monday morning in the 212 (and the 718, 646, 917, 347...).  My boss Miron suggested I get a landline soon, especially if we get the LA client.  Conference calls and cellphones don't mix.  I have no idea how to go about even getting one!  I guess through Time Warner Cable?  Blech.

Things with me are allllriiight.  I went to therapy Wednesday.  Despite my efforts to be positive, I can't seem to shake my anger and resentment issues.  The post-funeral blow out was a perfectly timed rock bottom moment for me.  Without going into detail, I had every right to lash out in my drunken stupor, but the fact I did lash out is what hurts the most.  If I am going to be a good wife, mother, and person, I need to get the ragesnake under control.

I've also gotten my eating and drinking under control, too!  I lost 3-4 pounds this past week, depending on my comparison days.  And I only got drunk on Saturday!  Granted I had 800 calories of alcohol, but it's a start!  GET THIS...I also only had ONE TACO in a sitting.  ONE!  I'm already feeling better.

The weight loss is probably also due to the colonic I got Thursday.  I figured if I'm trying to deshit my life, I might as well do it in the most literal sense.

WELL, colonics are fucking awesome.  I've been asked to explain the experience in some detail, so if you don't want to read about it skip down to the *****.

I went to Love Your Transformation based on Rockstar's recommendation.  I was naked from the waist down with a little blanket over me.  The woman sat by my bum and inserted a metal thingie that kind of looks like a hose spray gun.  It wasn't that uncomfortable, probably because I am a good pooper.  I would make an anal sex joke here, but I actually haven't done that in years.

The water went through my system at a slow, calm pace.  The woman stays down there and jiggles the tubing to help the excretion.  She also monitors the poopage.  Apparently I am a natural!

The only time I felt awkward was when the water passed through a couple of gas pockets and I thought I was going to shit all over her face.  She assured me I was not going to One Girl No Cup her. 

When it was over I was energized, lighter, and my sinuses were cleared!  I asked her if this was possible and she said yes because it's all inflammation. Or I'm just a shithead.  Either way, I felt fantastic. I was a little nervous about taking the subway home, so I made a preemptive pitstop at Macy's before going underground. THANK SHIZZA. Poor toilet didn't know what hit it.

My intestines felt so good and clean until I started eating again.  I highly recommend doing this for your well-being!

*****

SO MUCH POOP!  Just kidding, you are in a colonic free zone now.

I'm looking forward to this week.  I got dinner and drink plans Tuesday - Thursday and Saturday.  Sunday I'm meeting up with the Bear Family at the Natural History museum.  I haven't been in forever and I can't can't can't wait to see Evan's face at the dinosaur exhibit.

Also...I'm a redhead again!!  Well, like reddish brown.  I like it!  I tried taking a picture, but I just ain't photogenic.  Here's a cool pic of my eye though!  My hair is a lot darker and redder in person.

Well, that's all I got. Happy Monday!

Saturday's Horoscope

I like it!

Pisces

Saturday, September 15th 2012
 
You can be profoundly affected by the actions of others. Recent events can send you on a path of inner exploration and lead you on a journey of self-discovery. However, before you get there, it’s normal to experience anxiety and upheaval. Sometimes it’s difficult to believe everything happens for a reason, but there will be a silver lining — there always is!

Sick!

Gosh, when was the last time I was sick??  While I feel like shit today, I am so incredibly thankful I've been healthy all year.  In hindsight, all of the colds, flus, exhaustion, and tummy issues I've had my whole life must have been due to gluten weakening my immune system.  I'd get sick at least once a month! 

Yesterday my chest felt congested and I was weak.  Today I'm working from home because my back is super sore and I'm tired.  Very tired.  It makes sense. I'm stressed out, I partied too much, and I'm depressed.  Also, today is September 11th, which is always a rough time of year.  I'm glad I'm home.

I haven't heard back from Cee yet.  Fingers crossed I get an appointment today!

A Fucked Up Family Funeral revised

The joke, "What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? One less drunk." sums up my family perfectly. The first time I went to a wake for a non-relative, my mom warned me that funerals are sad, solemn occasions. I had no idea because funerals on both sides of my family sound like a party.

It was so incredibly great to see everyone. I gotta hand it to death - it sure knows how to bring the living together.

After the funeral we went to a dive bar called Moroney's. Naturally. We were all drinking, dancing, laughing, having a blast. My cousin Timmy and I always had a nice connection, so we were buying each other non-stop shots. Then, predictably, all hell broke loose...

******************************************************************************

If you check my blog every day (thank you!), you would have read the details to hell breaking loose.  My brother read it and asked me to take it down.  I listened.

Without going into details, it was a really bad night.  At this point there are two things upsetting me most:

1.  My ragesnake made an appearance. 

2.  I've been drunk almost every day since Tuesday.

My body is beat up.  My mind is beat up.  Everything is beat up.  I called Cee to get an appointment, but I haven't heard back yet.  I actually ran into her Thursday night while MDLL and I were on our way to our TWO YEAR MEETIVERSARY dinner.  (Excited much?)  I took it as a sign I really do need therapy right now.

2012 has been the best year of my entire life.  Sincerely. I've felt good, got the guy, had tons of fun and am HAPPY.

I'm not happy right now though. I'm not happy with my weight gain or the fact I can't fit into any of my clothes.  I'm not happy I've been drinking until I black/brown out.  I'm not happy my fingers are bloody stumps.  I am EXTREMELY unhappy with what down after the funeral. 

Today's a new day though.  I'm forcing myself to smile and be positive.  This past week was the roughest one in a long time.  I will explore what happened, learn from it, and move on.