Monday, September 17


Whaddup fools??

It's another beautiful Monday morning in the 212 (and the 718, 646, 917, 347...).  My boss Miron suggested I get a landline soon, especially if we get the LA client.  Conference calls and cellphones don't mix.  I have no idea how to go about even getting one!  I guess through Time Warner Cable?  Blech.

Things with me are allllriiight.  I went to therapy Wednesday.  Despite my efforts to be positive, I can't seem to shake my anger and resentment issues.  The post-funeral blow out was a perfectly timed rock bottom moment for me.  Without going into detail, I had every right to lash out in my drunken stupor, but the fact I did lash out is what hurts the most.  If I am going to be a good wife, mother, and person, I need to get the ragesnake under control.

I've also gotten my eating and drinking under control, too!  I lost 3-4 pounds this past week, depending on my comparison days.  And I only got drunk on Saturday!  Granted I had 800 calories of alcohol, but it's a start!  GET THIS...I also only had ONE TACO in a sitting.  ONE!  I'm already feeling better.

The weight loss is probably also due to the colonic I got Thursday.  I figured if I'm trying to deshit my life, I might as well do it in the most literal sense.

WELL, colonics are fucking awesome.  I've been asked to explain the experience in some detail, so if you don't want to read about it skip down to the *****.

I went to Love Your Transformation based on Rockstar's recommendation.  I was naked from the waist down with a little blanket over me.  The woman sat by my bum and inserted a metal thingie that kind of looks like a hose spray gun.  It wasn't that uncomfortable, probably because I am a good pooper.  I would make an anal sex joke here, but I actually haven't done that in years.

The water went through my system at a slow, calm pace.  The woman stays down there and jiggles the tubing to help the excretion.  She also monitors the poopage.  Apparently I am a natural!

The only time I felt awkward was when the water passed through a couple of gas pockets and I thought I was going to shit all over her face.  She assured me I was not going to One Girl No Cup her. 

When it was over I was energized, lighter, and my sinuses were cleared!  I asked her if this was possible and she said yes because it's all inflammation. Or I'm just a shithead.  Either way, I felt fantastic. I was a little nervous about taking the subway home, so I made a preemptive pitstop at Macy's before going underground. THANK SHIZZA. Poor toilet didn't know what hit it.

My intestines felt so good and clean until I started eating again.  I highly recommend doing this for your well-being!


SO MUCH POOP!  Just kidding, you are in a colonic free zone now.

I'm looking forward to this week.  I got dinner and drink plans Tuesday - Thursday and Saturday.  Sunday I'm meeting up with the Bear Family at the Natural History museum.  I haven't been in forever and I can't can't can't wait to see Evan's face at the dinosaur exhibit.

Also...I'm a redhead again!!  Well, like reddish brown.  I like it!  I tried taking a picture, but I just ain't photogenic.  Here's a cool pic of my eye though!  My hair is a lot darker and redder in person.

Well, that's all I got. Happy Monday!

1 comment:

Sue-baru said...

I would like to have two things happen this week:

1) See your pretty red hair.

2) Learn the cost of a colonic. Otherwise known as a colon-ost.

or not.