Wednesday, July 30

Work from "Home"

When Harpoon moved downtown, my department decided to give us a work from home day for morale. Such an awesome gesture. I picked Wednesdays to break up the week. WHIP'EM OUT WEDNESDAYS! "EM" are my thighs not my breasts, though. I never wear pants when I'm home. This is probably why I never have guests either.

Home. Living with MD has been wonderful. Sincerely. I love waking up with him, snuggling as we watch TV, cooking (!!), going to bed together. My favorite is hearing the door unlock and knowing he's home. It is everything I imagined it would be. Of course there are things I didn't imagine, but I'll get to that.

Yesterday was our six month moveversary. It feels like I moved ages ago. While I love living with MDLL, I really, really miss my old apartment.

Delilah Foray was the first place I ever truly felt at home. I never felt at ease in Jackson. I really liked my college apartment, but it was a shithole, I had 3-6 roommates at various times, and I was rarely sober. My grandmother's apartment in Bay Ridge was comforting because I felt her spirit with me, but I only stayed there a few days a week to get away from my parents and shorten my commute from NJ. It wasn't until I moved to Astoria that my life changed.

"Home" became somewhere I was safe. Somewhere I was free to be my true self. Somewhere without pain, confrontation, and stress. Somewhere that gave me strength. I never knew a happy and healthy home could do this because I never had one before. 

I have a habit of naming inanimate objects. It's kind of my thing. It was different when I named my apartment, though. It somehow had more power and impact. Delilah Foray was more than my home. She became my best friend and now she's gone.

We decided I should move into MD's place for financial reasons. Delilah was cheaper, but his apartment was only a couple hundred more a month for two bedrooms rather than one. It is a nice place and as everyone who's visited has said (I do actually have guests), it's an upgrade. Dee was an old apartment with lots of decorative molding and scratched up wooden floors. MD's place was renovated a few years ago and has a cleaner updated look. I guess.

I realize now we should have gotten a new place. If you're money-focused, then moving into a cheaper apartment is probably all that matters. If you're like me, and looking for a safe-haven, then don't take the easy and cheap route. Find a place that speaks to you. MD's apartment doesn't. Or maybe I'm just not listening.

Maybe it would have helped if I had all of my stuff here. Delilah's furniture was hand me down, so I tossed it all except for my bed, desk, and bookcase. They are set up in the second bedroom along with most of my other belongings. I guess I feel a bit like my stuff is banished to the room we never use. Actually I don't know why I never use it. Huh. I need to make a point to hang out in there more often.

I also don't really like the layout. The stove shares the wall with the bedroom. How is that possible?? I've never heard of such a thing. I asked MD if we can switch the bedroom and living room, but the living room faces the street so it's super loud. Oh that's another thing. Our building is an "H" design, and we are in the "-" part so we don't have a view or get a lot of light. Delilah was super bright with a great view and the stove on the opposite end of the apartment!!! She was the best!! WAH!

Our apartment number is 3EB, so naturally I named the place Threebio like C-3PO's Threepio nickname. Naturally. The name isn't really sticking though. I find myself saying "Bye Dee" still, then quickly saying "Bye Threeb!" as to not hurt its feelings.

I just really want my best friend back. Yeah, yeah, I live with my real best friend now and it's awesome blah, blah, blah. It's not the same though. Delilah and I were together for ten years. TEN YEARS. It will take time to get over her. Or maybe I never will. She'll always be my first true home.

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