Saturday, March 31

Skin is apparently tasty.

I have this awful habit of chewing my fingers.

I used to have nice long nails that offset my man-hand sausages. I went for my first manicure right after high school and the nail technician (heh heh) introduced me to cuticle cutting. I bought my own cuticle scissors and would go to town every night before bed. I was obsessed.

I smoked cigarettes back then and would quit from time to time, usually right after getting bronchitis or a chest cold. I guess I needed an oral fix during those breaks so I started biting my nails. Not sure what made me start chewing my cuticles. I think it was something to do when I was cracked out after partying all night. Now I do it all the time to the point where my fingers are always red, puffy, and bloody. It is so fucking gross.

I would like to write myself a note:

Dear Me,

STOP FUCKING EATING YOUR OWN SKIN. In fact don't eat any one's skin you disgusting cannibalistic douche.

Here are acceptable things to put in your mouth: food, beverage, medication, cock, toothpaste, toothbrush, tongue, floss, and mouthwash. THAT IS ALL. And to clarify, DO NOT CHEW THE COCK OR TONGUE.


You know what I consider "doing my nails" now? Applying Neosporin to my wounds and wearing band-aids on each finger. Lovely.

So let's make a pact ol' blogosphere. If you should see me either examining my fingers getting ready for the kill or full on gnawing in masochistic bliss, for the love of god, stop me. I don't care how, punch me in the face if you have to. I must be stopped at all costs.

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