Random Thoughts: Y tu mama tambien

1. My cleavage is awesome when I lay on my side in my navy blue sports bra.

2. I want to put The Soup's Joel McHale in my pocket.

3. I am addicted to band-aids and Neosporin.

4. If the makers of the supposed "pee-in-pool detection ink" ever make a sister product for "pedestrian cropdusting detection", I'd be screwed.

5. My favorite beer is Ommegang.

6. If I had to spend the rest of my life locked in a room with someone I would choose Furball. I can hear him screaming as I type this...

7. I want to caress Scarlet Johanssen. Not kiss, not rub, just caress.

8. Since adults only seem to have Orbit, Dentyne Ice, or Trident-chiclet type gum, I ask for 2 pieces. If I only have one piece, one of the sides of my mouth will get jealous, I'll have to switch it up a lot, the flavor goes away fast, and I stop enjoying it. Gotta go for 2.

9. Cicely is still annoying, but get this, my hips hurt from walking weird all week. I = The Blob.

10. I'm really enjoying Fables and yet haven't read past the second trade. Sorry, Amy. Again.

11. I want to see Transformers this weekend although I can't seem to remember the cartoon that well. Oddly enough when I think really hard at work I make this "ch-ch-chu-chu-chu" noise like when they transform. I have no idea if that's how one types it out.

12. Fireworks were awesome last night. Weather, not so much.

13. Congratulations Schmidt-faces! Their new son Cale is ADORABLE.

14. Thanks for all the nice calls and emails. I know you would be there for me if I needed you to...I guess it's like The Boy Who Cried Wolf. Like if I need you now and it ends up not being a big deal, but then my arms fall off and I REALLY need you, would you still be willing to wipe my tush?

15. ERs are great for putting the fear of death in you. I haven't had a drink in 4 days AND I ate very healthy today. Let's see how I hold up this weekend.

16. My fucking foot fell asleep. Owwww...