Stupid Asshole. Literally.

I had to courtesy flush six times in one sit-down the other day.

Furbie and I had gone to the bar to watch the Mets game during lunch. I ate a corned beef sandwich with fries.

Figures. Fucking Irish.

Since most of these posts are about my bathroom habits, I've created my very own color-coded poop chart for your reading pleasure.**



Less than an hour later my Pooper Alert went from blue to orange, so I ran down to the tenth floor (still can't go on 11) and bombed the hell out of porcelain harbor.

I groaned, I sweat, I nearly cried. It was one of those painful I-am-going-to-die moments that I'm sure you've all had at some point in your lives. If not, you're missing out.

Stupid asshole!


**I also just downloaded a free trial of Photoshop, so this was my first project. More to come, I'm sure!