Padiddle!

In high school my friends and I used to play padiddle. A "padiddle" is a car with one headlight out. If you're driving around with your pals and see one you simply scream out "PADIDDLE!" and hit the roof of the car with your hand. That's it.

For us it was just fun to scream really loud, but apparently some peeps would take the game a little farther by making the person who did not see the padiddle take off one article of clothing. Sluts!

Speaking of sluts (or at least recovering ones), yesterday I went shopping with Spags. As I was leaving my apartment I noticed that my right nipple was hard, my left one soft.

I thought okay, maybe it will go down if I warm up a bit so I rubbed it while walking to the subway. No such luck, instead it just got harder. (I'm sure some of the old Greek men sitting on their stoops did too as I walked by, fa!)

Then I thought okay, maybe my left one needs some lovin' to even things out. I began rubbing lefty as well. No luck there either, is it possible to have whiskey nips?

By then I gave up, figuring the right one would eventually cool it's loins, hopefully before I poke someone's eye out. Yeah, no. It stayed like that all day.

I, my friends, was a walking padiddle. See?



Best thing about gaining 20 pounds this year (yes twenty, more on that when I finally stop eating and/or crying)...my breasts are HUGE!!