Thursday, September 23

Dick Tween, Etc.

I was just made fun of by a tween thug.


I was walking down my block and came upon a group of about fifteen 12 year olds (I don't know for sure how old they were as everyone under 25 look like embryos to me now.). The kid said, "Hey what happened to the rest of your hair?" I was totally in my own head and not paying attention, so I made the mistake of turning to look at him. Then he said something about my pussy smelling like beehives. I was so confused that I turned confused-red, which apparently glows in the dark because he then said "She's turning red!", the three cringe-worthy words that have plagued my mutant-self since birth.

At this point there was nothing to do, but keep walking and laugh at myself for being an old loser. I haven't been made fun of in a long time and I gotta say, for a few seconds it felt just like it did when I was a kid. Goddamn hooligans!

Up until the dick tween run-in I've been having a pretty good week. Wait, have I? Things have annoyed me, but I feel pretty stable and positive inside. This week's rundown:

Friday - Date with Pool, the guy I met a few weeks ago at the old man bar. He is very sweet and interesting. Soulful. I like that. We're going out again tomorrow night.

Saturday - I had therapy in the morning. I'll write about it in a separate post. Later that day Bakes and I drank in the hood. She also watched me turn on my oven and all of my burners. I didn't actually cook anything, but it's a start! I bought a fire extinguisher, too. I'm getting there!

Sunday - I went to Crazy Ass by my lonesome to watch the Jets (awesome) game. MD, the guy I made out with on Labor Day, randomly showed up so I got to make out with him again all through the Giants (sucky) game. He might be the best kisser of all time.

Notice I only said "make out." I'm keeping it in my pants, people. Congratulate me!

Monday - Juniper scored free tickets to a John Hughes Tribute after-party. The room with the DJ was a gymnasium with wooden bleachers and a big movie screen showing clips from all of his movies. It was really fun and random, even more random when we met Anthony Michael Hall. (Okay, maybe it wasn't random because we knew the cast of The Breakfast Club would be there. It was just a random night.) In the two minutes I spoke to him I could tell he was a really nice man-whore. I should have hooked up with him. I would not have kept it in my pants, people.

Tuesday - I didn't get home from the after-party until like 2am, so I was exhausted all day. My friend Baba and I got a quick drink, then I went home to crash and detox. Oh alcohol. I really don't know what to do with you.

I was still pretty tired yesterday, so I didn't do much. I met up with Stevie and JP for a little bit, then came home and watched Hot Tub Time Machine. I love that movie.

Tonight I decided to buy a new shirt for tomorrow. Unfortunately it's not to impress Pool, it's to look good at Mick's 30th birthday party after my date. I haven't mentioned him in a while because there hasn't been anything to say. I'm over him. Honestly, after the Boob Saga, I feel like I can get over anything now. I feel so good! Yes I'm still crazy at times (last week), but something is really changing in me now. My confidence is rising and I'm really starting to believe I'm awesome. I like me, I really like me!

Why am I going to his party? For closure, I guess. It's been almost two months since I've seen him. I ignored his texts and Facebook comments for a couple of weeks, then he got the hint. Well until he invited me to his party. I'm not looking forward to seeing him with the troll, but I am looking forward to seeing him. Wait, am I? Huh. Actually I'm looking forward to seeing him and realizing I don't like him anymore. Yep, that's better.

I'm getting closer and closer to meeting the love of my life. I just know it. I'm more interested in MD than Pool at the moment - a good kisser is hard to come by. Heh. The nice thing is I'm not "in love" with either of them. I'm enjoying getting to know both and I'm enjoying meeting new people.

So yeah, it's been a good week. The only snag was my friend Pose invited me to the Giants game on Sunday and I had to say no for financial reasons. I was so bummed, but it was the responsible thing to do. Therapy is going to be a lot, plus I have two Stone Brewery events, New York Comic Con, and Svenica's wedding all in the next three weeks. Pose said she might have an extra ticket for the 10/17 game against Detroit. If so I AM FUCKING GOING.

What do beehives even smell like? Honey, right?

1 comment:

Jennifer Juniper said...

Uh. NO. If you hooked up with AMH I would have killed you. MINE.

And how in the WORLD could you tell he was a man-whore??? I'm sure he can get hotter chicks than us... (no offense to us).

I look forward to seeing this fancy shirt... haha