Tuesday, September 28

Thighs Guyde

Apparently I meet a lot of guys, so I've been asked to make a reference guide for their nicknames and pertinent info.

I figured the best way to do it is create a "guyde" (I'm so clever) label* for this post and add to it whenever I meet a new one that matters. Guys that have mattered thus far:

MD/MDLL (2010 - present) - On again, off again something or other. We've been "hanging out" since Labor Day 2010. Update (05/11) - the past couple of months have been alriiiight.

Nickname origin: I met him at the donkey bar Bacon and I frequent, so in my phone he was Matt Donkey (MD) for a while. MD made me upset a lot, so after one of our "break ups" I decided MD is gone and he is now LL for [Lastname] Lover. Once we got back together he became MDLL.

Update (11/11) - I want to spend the rest of my life with him.

Bacon (2001 - death) - Not a guy, but since she's my heterosexual life partner I figured I'd include her.

Nickname origin: Circa 2002, a marathon drinkfest led us to Johnny Rockets in Hoboken and in her drunken stupor Bakes ordered a double bacon cheeseburger and requested bacon be put on our cheesefries. It was the funniest shit I ever heard and feckin delicious.

Tat BBQ (2009 - 2010) - My first real boyfriend since college. A really great guy, but something wasn't right so I broke up with him. It was the hardest decision I've ever made.

Nickname origin: He has a lot of tattoos. Also, whenever I enter a guy's number into my phone I put their first name and then a clue as to where I met him. Example: Mike Pool because I met him playing pool.

Donovan (2006 - 2008) - I worked with him at Company. I'm starting with him because he's the reason why I decided to write Thighs (crazy, right?). I was head over heels for him and he didn't like me. Blerg.

Nickname origin: He is an Eagles fan so I named him after Donovan McNabb.

Fish (2007) - My first attempt at a long distance relationship, second time I travelled to find love. We met at comic-con and I went to Chicago to visit him a couple of months later. We had sex, a big fight, he was never going to come to NY, and now we're Facebook friends.

Nickname origin: It's his last name. For realz.

Ohio John (2003 - 2004) - My first long distance email crush. Met him through Friendster. I went to Ohio to visit him, had sex, he was never going to come to NY, now he's married, and we're Facebook friends.

Nickname origin: Pretty straight forward.

Softball Pat (2002) - The first guy I liked after college. Not much to say at this point.

Nickname origin: Met him playing softball. I guess I didn't think I needed to be creative for the old ones since they'll never read my blog.

PJ (1999) - My first real love was in college. My shit was a bit fucked for years after the break-up, which is why I've been a commitmentphobe for so long. Or was one anyways (hurrah!). That's his real name.

Psycho Joe (1998) - My first boyfriend. He was a bit of a psycho. Not to me, just in general.

The following guys were never boyfriends, but they did have an impact. Some good, some bad:

The Gentleman (2011) - I met him on New Year's day. MDLL were on one of our breaks. Super nice guy (hence the nickname), but never made me laugh. MDLL and I got back together a few weeks later.

Mick (2010) - Juniper's roommate. Bad decision. Nickname origin: He's a Mc.

Banana (2010) - A friend of a friend I really liked and hoped was "The One," but he ended up being a fuckwad. Bad decision. Nickname origin: Fruit Logic post.

Mr. J (2009, 2010, 2011) - A repeat offender. Not such a bad decision as he's a nice guy. We just aren't meant to be, despite randomly running into each other once a year.

Krull (2008) - Hot redhead. Nuff said.

FB for Famous Blogger (2007) - I liked him, slept with him on our first date, never heard back, and now we're Facebook friends. Not the worst decision ever, but I would have liked to be real friends. Or writing partners.

Hmmm...I guess that's it for now. Random one night stands not included.

*I never thought to label my posts before, but OH MY WORD. The idea of having a "Poop" label is making me extremely happy!

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