Monday, September 13

Revisiting the Past

While going back to New Jersey for follow-up visits is an expensive pain in the ass, I am very glad I had my surgery at the same office as I did as a teen. My parents said it's decorated exactly the same, but it doesn't really look familiar to me. I believe I recognize it on a subconscious level, though. I also believe it helped speed up my healing process, that by going back to the "scene of the crime" I'm getting closure, everything's come full circle, and I can finally move on. With this in mind I went to Greenwich Street on Saturday and stood where I was on 9/11.

When I first wrote my post I originally thought I had taken the 1 train downtown, which was odd because I always took the A/C/E from Port Authority. On Saturday I realized I did take the usual line and walked down Carmine from the West 4th station. As I was retracing my steps, the strangest thing happened. Six cop cars flew down Varick, just like they did nine years ago. My jaw dropped. Somehow the moment recreated itself. I believe deja vu tells us we are exactly where we are meant to be and while I was reliving part of a terrible day, I was comforted by knowing I was supposed to be reliving it.

I stood behind Penguin for a few minutes. I laughed, not because it was funny, but because I was having an honest moment with myself and my past. For whatever reason, I tend to giggle when I'm enlightened. Maybe the Laughing Buddha was onto something.

This is the first year I am ready to discuss or even think about 9/11. I am so happy and proud that I've finally come to terms with my experience. I hope everyone else affected by that day can eventually do the same.

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