I'm wasted.

I'm so drunk right now that I knwo I'm going to totally regret posting this. I just feel like I haven't connected with Thighs in quite awhile...I guess that's why I want to write now....

I ain't going to spell check this. Hell my head isn't even looking at the monitor right now either. The date I had last week was awesome. Let's call him Krull. I like Krull so much. We've had a great week together. He was supposed to come out to Queens tonight but he cancelled. For some stupid reason I feel like this is the end of the world. So much so that I cried. I am stupid.

Ufh ugh ugh. I really wish I was sober right now. No scratch that I'm glad I'm drunk and blindly typcing. I want this to be honest. And honestsly...I like Krull alot. I just hope he likes me back...But yeah my stupid brain said "oh he backed out because he hates you so why don't you make out with a 23 year old kid on an opposiing dodgeball team to make yourself feel better."

Yeah well making out with a 23 year old sucks. I mean the kid was cute but he grabbed my breastuses like they were air pumps and shoved his knee in my crotch like I needed it to stand. Basically it was awful...and I've never felt older in my life. Oddly enough he didn't faint when i told him I was 30 but a couple of his friends did. yikes.

Wah wah wah. Fucking Krull. I've wanted to connect with someone so bad, but now that I have all I want to do is puke. I seriously don't know how to be normal when it comes to liking someone. I was so freaked out about the prospect of dating Krull that I was actually hoping he'd stop calling...

What the hell is wrong with me??

AAARRRRRGGGHHDGFAHGHJKLHGLKDBN!!