Because he's a guy

Why do tripods get away with cooler shit than chicks do? Examples:

1. Getting bombed and making a fool of themselves
2. Hooking up with the wrong person
3. Cropdusting
4. Wrestling in public
5. Eating pizza off the ground
6. Masturbating
7. Flirting
8. Being obnoxious
9. Sticking their dicks in the mashed potatoes
10. Peeing wherever, whenever

We ladies get away with boring shit like:

1. Crying
2. Talking too much
3. Being cold when it's hot
4. Going to the bathroom in groups
5. Crying

It's not fair. I shall pout and cry about this for the rest of the evening.