Being positive...

Apparently I'm not done writing yet. It feels good to write.

Here are a few positive things:

1. I'm down to 168 pounds. I haven't weighed this little (why does that sound weird?) since 2005. I'm flabby as fuck, but that's because I haven't worked out in almost a year. Damn chubby appendages.

2. Thankfully I have a job where I can work from home. I asked for a laptop at Minnow once, you know, to actually OFFER to work nights and weekends when I was on the Oracle project and they said no. I DON'T WORK THERE ANYMORE! YIPPEE!

3. I can watch movies and read.

4. The bucket list I mentioned in my earlier post doesn't exist, but when I was at my lowest this week, these are the thoughts that popped into my head:

I never went to art school.

I never went around the world.

I never fell in love and got married.

I never published my own comic.

I never gave myself the satisfaction of being proud of my body by wearing a bathing suit without shorts. (I almost wrote bikini, but I don't think that will ever happen.)

I never let go and allowed myself to love me and my life to the fullest.

There's my bucket list. This is positive because now I know where to focus my energy once I have it back.

5. I am grateful for my parents. They have and would drop anything to help me. After all we've been through, I realize now I am very lucky to have them.