Monday, July 18

Weekendy End

Now that I feel better I'm back to my regularly scheduled case of the Mondays. I barely did anything today. Poop!

Friday night was my date with MDLL. Dinner was delicious, kissing and hugging on the pier at Gantry Park was romantic, dancing on his roof was like a dream, and the sex was the best yet. The one problem - I had to ask him to verbalize his feelings again. It was a bit disappointing, especially because we had two perfect settings for him to whisper sweet nothings and make me melt.

I woke up on Saturday very unsure of what to do next. I was centered though and felt (still feel) in control of my emotions and the situation. Luckily I had a lovely afternoon planned with Bakes, who helped me sort things out. We had lunch at my new favorite taco place Tortilleria Nixtamal. The fish tacos are to die for!! SO GOOD! Afterwards we went to the Mets/Phillies game. It was my first of the season and they won! WOO HOO!

My instincts had told me to keep the conversation nice and light Friday. By Saturday night, my gut said to booty call him at 11pm and ride him into the ground. We both thoroughly enjoyed it.

Yesterday I was finally ready to talk. Thankfully he was, too. We shared a lot about our feelings for each other and our relationship this past year. He told me he loved me. I cried.

While we both really care about each other, we agreed we're at a standstill. We've exhausted our conversations about the new information and our future. There's really nothing left to do except sort out our own lives.

The truth is I'm unsure if MDLL's The One. The communication is a huge issue for me. We wouldn't have had so many ups and downs if there had been a consistently honest and open dialogue. It's a shame it took this long to get here. It might be too late.

Or it might not. For once I am okay with not knowing. I'm ready to start dating again. Maybe I meet someone special. Maybe I don't. I would be crushed if he started dating someone, but maybe I need to lose him to know I definitely want him. Maybe we end up as friends. Who knows? The possibilities are endless. It's exciting.

This weekend was the best I've had all year.

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