Wednesday, October 26

To be fair...

I don't want MDLL to sound like an asshole. He's not one. I guess I'm more motivated to post when I'm trying to sort out my thoughts during rough times, instead of celebrating the good ones. I've never been one to brag (I don't think), so blogging about how much my life rocks never felt natural.

To be fair, here are all of the things I love about MDLL:

He's caring, sensitive, generous, funny, smart, pensive, kind, sexy (SUPER sexy), strong, neat (much neater than me), loving, and considerate.

We have the same sense of humor when it comes to TV shows, movies, and just joking around. We are always laughing. I am pleasantly surprised every time he makes me laugh. It's not because it's hard to make me giggle, it's more because his voice rarely changes its tone and inflection. He can say, "I went to the store this morning." the same way he says "A guy at work whipped his dick out in the conference room and it was hilarious." When I make him laugh, I feel so accomplished. He has a great one.

Looks-wise, gosh don't get me started. He's tall with a swimmer's build - broad shoulders, narrow waist, muscular legs, and manly hands. His eyes are a warm light brown, almost like maple syrup. His skin is so soft, my favorite spot being the area from his ear to his shoulder which I unromantically like to refer to as his "neckmeat". I can spend days kissing it and have to fight the urge to bite a chunk out vampire-style especially when watching True Blood. I love looking at him, standing next to him, and touching him.

Shit. Now I'm horny.

While I complain about not getting flowers or thoughtful gifts, MDLL pays for probably 75% of whatever we eat or drink. He always says, "Stop it. It's my pleasure." when I try to pay.

He mails his family birthday cards.

He wears a suit to work and hangs it neatly on a hanger in front of his closet the minute he gets home. My dad used to do this, too.

If we're out at a bar surrounded by a group of friends, I notice him staring at me even when I'm not the one talking. If we are close enough to touch each other, we always do. One time all he did was lay a finger on my forearm just to feel me. I melted.

Shit. Now I'm crying.

He always teases me. A few weeks ago he was making fun of how loud and obnoxious I am. He screamed (which was funny to begin with since he's always so quiet), "I AM THIGHS. I AM TALKING. EVERYONE LISTEN TO ME." I laughed one of those belly truth laughs because he was dead on.

When he met my parents, he stood whenever they stood and didn't sit down until they sat down. He is very polite. The fact they loved him and he loved them is HUGE.

He remembers everything I tell him, which is impressive since I'm such a chatterbox*. I'm surprised when he brings up stupid shit I told him months ago or when he remembers my friends' names and stories.

We really do communicate well once we start having a tough conversation. The problem is we avoid them until it's too late.

I love when he caresses my hair, pulls my ponytail, or touches my cheek. He gives great hugs.

He says I'm hot. I've been told I'm pretty or cute, but never hot. It feels nice.

He is still the best kisser of all time. Best sex, too.

If I was trapped on a desert island and could only bring one person to spend the rest of eternity with, it would be MDLL.

I want us to see the world together, experience everything life has to offer, enjoy ourselves, love each other freely, honestly, and openly. I don't feel like we can do those things right now. I'm not quite sure what that means...

I hope this post gives you a better idea as to why I love MDLL. He is a good man and I am very, very happy to have him in my life.

I worry I'm one of those talk show doormat women who wait around for years for their significant other to commit to them, knowing deep down it will never happen, the audience chanting, "Dump him. Dump him. Dump him." I don't know what's worse - being that woman or having others THINK I am that woman. Ego much?

As I wrote in my last post, I'm struggling with defining deal-breakers. Marital status, definitely. Gifts? I'm not asking for a Louis Vuitton bag. I'm asking for a Spider-Man key chain at the dollar store. Anything that shows he is thinking of me when I'm not around, "Oooo, Thighs would like this!". I also want more of a glimpse into his interests outside of our shared ones. If he bought tickets to a band or game he wanted to see, I would love to share the experience with him. He goes to a Steelers game with his brother around Christmas. I would die if he invited me.

Shit. Now I'm confused again.

*This has nothing to do with the above...chatterbox - noun: a vag that won't stop making noises. Manujagger!

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