Three weeks!

Gah! I can't believe I haven't posted in three weeks. Actually I can. A lot was going on! The rundown:

On September 24th, my parents came up to Queens to meet MDLL. It was AWESOME. Like incredibly awesome. They love him and he loves them, especially my dad. I couldn't have asked for a better night.

The next morning my mom said we are a great couple and can see he loves me, but meeting him makes his relationship status even more confusing. If we have such a good thing going, why isn't he processing his divorce yet? More on this later.

MDLL called me that evening to say he sprained his ankle and could barely walk. When I got to his house his ankle was huge and he was inexcruciating pain every time he tried to get up. He refused to go to the doctor (stupid boys!), so after an hour of pleading and the promise of a beej if he went (stupid boys!) I finally got him to go to the ER.

SIX HOURS LATER, we find out he has a sprained ankle and a fractured fibula. The fracture was a clean one, so luckily all he needed were crutches and an aircast. Strangely enough, The Gentleman also happened to be in the ER with a friend who was having bad panic attacks. I rarely feel awkward because, well, I don't know why, but I did then. MDLL was sitting in a wheelchair while The G-Man is standing three feet away, watching me console the guy I dumped him for. Awkward turtle! (Janey!)

I have a new appreciation for anyone who uses crutches in NYC. It is NOT easy to get around, especially when you live on the third floor of a walk-up like MDLL. I helped out by doing his food shopping, running errands, bringing dinner, cleaning up, etc. I was his nurse for the whole week. It felt good to take care of him. I finally got to repay him for keeping me company when I was sick earlier this year.

The timing sort of sucked, though. We were starting another conversion at work, so I was putting in a good 10 hours a day at the office, then going to MDLL's after. I was basically running on adrenaline the whole time. It felt good! Best two weeks I've ever had at Biz. It was the first time I felt well enough to really dive in and focus. I learned a ton about the job, about my strengths and weaknesses, and am working on setting higher expectations for myself. Sure I'm sitting at work blogging away at the moment, but I needed to vent...

So. The divorce.

Things with MDLL have been amazing. I am so in love with him. This is it. Like IT-IT. My life is changed forever.

The one problem we still have is communication. Neither of us want to have tough conversations. I don't want to ask him if he's processed the divorce because I'll feel like a naggy drag. He doesn't bring it up because things are going well and he knows I'll be upset he still hasn't moved forward. We are afraid to acknowledge the elephant in the room.

Finally this past Sunday we discussed the divorce and many other things, from living together to marriage to how we're spending the holidays this year. I told him I need to understand why he hasn't processed the paperwork. He's not sure why he keeps putting it off. He knows he doesn't want to get back together with his wife (I hate this word), he knows he loves me, but he doesn't know why he hasn't moved forward.

We're back to where we've been four other times since we met. On a break. He needs to do this on his own. I can't help him, I can't force him, I can't do anything except give him time and space. It sucks.

I can't cave either. We need to be apart until the paperwork is being processed. He says he wants it done by 2012 so he can have a clean slate. Hopefully he sticks to the timeline. Hopefully our relationship isn't wiped from the slate, too.