Tuesday, May 31

New Information

I had a very interesting weekend.

I learned some new information about MDLL. I'm not ready to share exactly what it is yet, which is funny since I probably told half of you individually anyways. It doesn't feel right to post about it as it's not my story to tell. Thighs is about me and my life, not his. Maybe I'll go into more detail once I know how it affects me.

So why even bring it up? A few reasons:

1. I am so, SO proud of the way I am reacting to the news. I feel very calm, mature, and levelheaded. It could have ruined the weekend, hell maybe even our relationship, but I didn't/don't want it to. After nine months of dating on and off, there's obviously something here. I'm not ready to throw in the towel.

2. I am excited about this journey. I feel like this is going to be a huge learning experience for the both of us. Hopefully we work through it and end up in a happy and committed relationship. If not, I am certain whatever we take from this will help our next one.

3. I've never felt this close to love before in my life. I can't imagine him NOT being my taco lobster. If he isn't, holy crap. Taco lobster love will be amazing then.

4. One of the things I am struggling with is the idea of full disclosure. He should have told me about this sooner, WAY sooner, but he didn't. Everyone I discussed this with agrees. I never thought I needed a dating "Need to know" file, probably because I've never dated someone who is this tightlipped about personal matters.

I didn't realize I needed to know this until I found out. Again, I'm sure you'd all agree with me on this point. Opinions would differ when it comes to how to react.

The thing is now I find myself wondering what in my life MDLL might file under "Need to know." There are a few things that may be hard to hear. I guess this is why I can understand not telling someone something you think would ruin a relationship.

Interestingly enough, it was MDLL's muteness that stopped me from sharing some of my "secrets" already. He made me realize I don't need to lay all of my cards out on the table and say "HEY! DEAL WITH THIS!" right away. I am enjoying saving chapters of my life (good and bad) for later because I WANT there to be a later with him.


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