MY Struggles

I woke up this morning and reread my last post. It occurred to me these aren’t world struggles; they are MY world struggles. World struggles would include famine, disease, war, lack of freedom, things I am fortunate enough to not have to live with and hopefully never will.

I am lucky to live in a country where everyone has a voice, an opinion, and freedom. I am lucky to have a life in which I am not stressing out about feeding myself, my kids, paying a mortgage, or trying to find work. My good life has afforded me the opportunity to focus on issues that do not directly concern me. Instead of seeing this as a burden, I now think of it as a gift. Do you think a single mother with five kids cares about the TLC show losing advertisers? Fuck no.

On my way to work this morning I had a moment of clarity. I exited the train with a furrowed brow and heavy heart, deep in thought about my post. The stairway out of the station was packed for pedestrian rush hour and here was this dumb lady allowing her two year old daughter to slowly walk up each step on her own. I was so irritated. Pick up your fucking kid and get out of our way!

As I rushed pass them, a heard a man behind me ask, “Do you need help?” The woman’s response was dripping with gratitude, “YES! THANK YOU!” Here I was caught up in my own bullshit, ignoring the fact this woman was carrying a stroller while her daughter walked in front of her. It did not occur to me she couldn’t carry both of them. Ironic after I just wrote how proud I am of my common courteous, right?

I laughed out loud. It was exactly what I needed to feel better and get my head out of my ass. There is no right and wrong. There is only understanding.

The world is suffering. This is not pessimistic, it’s the truth. Chances are I will not be able to change it on a larger scale. All I can do is change my perspective and make MY world meet my expectations. I want a world filled with PLUR, an acronym a heard from my club days – peace, love, unity, and respect.

If the world is suffering, if death is inevitable, there is no reason to stress about it. Accepting this may sound like giving up, but it’s not. Acknowledging the dark makes the light seem that much brighter. If I want to make a difference, all I need to do is shine my own light bright and empower others to do the same.