Ikea Aneboda Series dressers

I love putting things together. I don't know which part I like more, creating something or following the directions to create it. Either way, if you need something built my service charge is a six pack and a pizza. I do have two conditions, though.

First, you can't sit and watch me build it. No, I don't hump the pieces into place or anything, I just go stupid when I have an audience.

Second, if you need me to assemble a dresser GO FUCK YOURSELF. Sincerely.

My dad and I went to Ikea Friday night. I bought a desk, chair, and two dressers. The desk and chair, easy peasy. The dressers? The dressers are what I assume its like to bang a virgin. You gather the tools you need, lay out a gameplan, do the ground work, create a solid foundation, and then right when she's ready for you, BAM...nothing fits in the hole.

For the one hour it took to build each dresser, more than half of that time was spent getting the goddamn drawers in. I couldn't get the metal pull thingies (technical name) to slide into the sides of the drawers. When I finally got them in, lo and behold, the screws weren't long enough to catch. Then dresser 2's handle screw holes weren't deep enough, so while the handles are attached to the drawer, they are just loose enough to bother the shit out of me for all of eternity. The added bonus: I tore the crap out of my hands from twisting the screwdriver to death. Go me.

The bright side is I'm finished. My bedroom looks good, Maczine is loving her new ride, and I can now put all my undies in proper drawers instead of those corny wicker baskets that I impulsively bought at Home Depot a while back.

I also now know to never, ever, EVER buy drawered-furniture that "Requires Assembly." It just ain't worth the frustration...or the blue balls.