A giant saint I ain't

Dear Jeremy Shockey,

I thought it would happen. I wanted it to happen. Now I know it wasn't meant to be.

All I wanted you to do was beat me up during sex. That's it!!! What kind of world do we live in when a girl can't get donkeypunched by a pro-football player every now and then? Don't you have any morals?

You disgust me. Don't even try to contact me now...if I'm gonna fuck a Saint it's going to be Reggie Bush. Would you mind forwarding him my email address? Thanks. Douche.

Bite me (not in the fun way),

Thighs