Thursday, October 28

A Weak Week

Blah blah blah. I feel like poo again. Good ol' Pdiddy came two weeks early and apparently brought with him a ridiculous amount of fatigue, lightheadedness, and tears. What, no Ciroc?

I wrote "apparently" because who the fuck knows the real cause of any of my ailments. My five day drinking binge? Perhaps. My thyroid is out of whack? Perhaps. My insanity is finally taking over? Hapsper.

When I was younger I had varying degrees of partidtumuchitis. Lymes and mono came before my drinking days, but Epstein Barr and chronic fatigue syndrome kicked in right around the same time the E and acid did. Who would have thought I'd get really sick and tired after candy-flipping for three days straight?? Shocking.

So this week I'm taking a much needed break from beer. In fact, I may have to pass up on the Halloween festivities this weekend too. We'll see how I feel after sleeping in on Saturday.

I did have the energy to do two things tonight. One:

They didn't have a box of 120 so I settled for 96. My second favorite thing to do with a new box of crayons is dump them all out and group them by color family*. My first favorite is color, of course!

Two: I broke it off with Fanboy. He called a little while ago. I gave him the whole "I see us as friends" speech. The polls said I didn't owe him a phone break-up since we only went out on one date. I usually agree with this, but I got the feeling Fanboy would want to talk. He did. Forty minutes. It wasn't bad, though. We spoke candidly about our dating history and what we want. I toyed with the idea of trying to set him up with someone. It would be completely selfish, but selfishness doesn't always lead to bad things! He'd get laid while I am free of guilt and loaded with good dating karma. I decided against this though, considering I don't have a lady in mind. Anyone know a nerdy-cool female sports fan who's shy and quirky? Does anyone even read this anymore?

There are a bunch of things I want to be good at some day. Breaking up with people isn't one of them. If I have to let a guy go I want to be as considerate and respectful as possible, but I don't want anymore practice please!

Sadly, I miss MD. Having my period twice in October isn't friggin' helping. I could call him, but what the fuck would I say? "Fooled you!" Yeah, I pulled that shit with Mick and it blew up. See this is the problem with me. (One of.) I can't tell if I miss him OR miss the idea of him OR am pretending to miss him because I'm so uncomfortable with the fact I made a strong, positive decision to protect myself from getting more hurt by someone who didn't treat me the way I wanted to be treated.

I don't know what to think. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe I should have told him my expectations and gave him a chance to tell me his. Oh well. Even if ending it with MD was a mistake, it was the healthiest one I've ever made.

*In case you were wondering, I took the autism quotient test and got a 10. What is the opposite of autism? I have that.


Anonymous said...

I still read your blog! When are you coming to see my daughter? She's gonna be tigger for halloween!

Jennifer Juniper said...

I wanna take that test!