Oh HIMYM...how I wish you'd fucking meet the mother already! GAH!!
My Thanksgiving weekend was excellent. On Thursday I went to Rock and Row's for a lovely turkey and vodka feast, as well as some Dance Central with the X-Box Kinect. I'm tempted to ask Santa for one!
Friday Juniper and I went on a little boat cruise around downtown and the Statue of Liberty. It was the perfect weather for it, too!! Afterwards we had a delicious meal at JJ's, my favorite sushi restaurant in Astoria. I'd say all of NYC, but I've rarely given other sushi places a chance!
Saturday was jammed pack: brunch with Megkefel and Socks in Chelsea, dinner with Breen in Forest Hills, then drinks with Hugs, Stevie, and Jarv back in the AQ. I drank for around 12 hours straight. It was fun, but I was deee-runk.
Sunday I did nothing. I needed the rest. The only time I left my couch was to go food shopping. I had a hankering for a turkey sandwich. It's still so odd to me to eat sammies again, even though gluten-free bread has been a readily available option this whole time. In fact, I've been eating more GF pastries in general - bagels, pies, a cupcake - every once in a while. I try to stay away though because if I don't miss the carbs, why waste the calories?
Oh calories. I hate you. I've officially gained all of my weight back, which is obviously due to the binge drinking and face-stuffing. I finally caved and bought some new pants that actually fit versus wearing the painfully small ones. I'm disappointed with myself, but what else is new when it comes to my weight??
Good news, MDLL and I are still broken up. Bad news, any time I drink I contact him. I saw him Thursday night then drunk called/texted the rest of the weekend. Actually I was sober Sunday when I texted him only because I had no idea what I said to him on Saturday. I might have to hide my phone for the next few weeks.
The days I'm sober, mainly Monday - Wednesday, I am sad. Super sad. I cried last night and I'm bumming today. To break it down:
1. I do not not NOT want to get back together with MDLL. I really don't. He is not the person I want to settle down with.
2. I want to settle down with someone who is everything MDLL is, as well as proactive, driven, and ready for a serious relationship. I'm worried I'll never meet him or will have to wait another 10+ years to fall in love again.
3. I absolutely postively miss having MDLL as my best friend. It sucks not being able to text him about the Giants game or tell him about my day or just hang out and do nothing. Last night I was watching HIMYM and thought how nice it would have been to be snuggling with MDLL on my couch. Then I realized, no, it would just be nice to be snuggling with the guy I'm in love with, not MDLL. I think? Whatever. Basically it sucked laying there on my own.
4. Part of me thinks I should be really pissed off at MDLL for rejecting me because, if I'm honest with myself, that's exactly what he did. I'm not angry though. I don't want to be angry because it's not going to do me any good. I feel like if I'm mad it will stall all of these other emotions I eventually need to go through anyway.
5. Juniper and I discussed how it's possible MDLL is in denial about this break-up. He probably thinks this is the same situation as our other ones and I'll come running back in a few weeks. I will not. This is SO incredibly different. Granted, drunk dialing/texting isn't convincing him otherwise, but I'll get there. One day.
UUUGGGGHHHHHUUUGGGHHHHUUUGGGHHH.....I hate this...
Every Thanksgiving I am grateful for my friends. Hell, every day really! This year though I am SUPER thankful I have so many wonderful and supportive buds helping me through this break-up. I love you all!