Something's not right about the tagline...

I hate you, heatwave!

I love to walk around the city. I also like to run now, too. I haven't done either BECAUSE IT'S BEEN FUCKING 90,000 DEGREES FOR WHAT FEELS LIKE AN ETERNITY AND I DON'T WANT TO BE OUTSIDE TO DEAL WITH THIS STUPID FUCKING HEATWAVE.

Jerks!

Facebook vs. Thighs

If we're Facebook friends you might be wondering why I don't just link to Thighs to share my pictures. I can't because of all the guys I pine over/complain about. It wouldn't be fair to them to find out about my blog that way. Plus the new thing to do when you start dating someone is to friend them and having a guy read this before he gets to know me is a bit much. I've learned from past experience. FINALLY.

Pittsburgh!

The trip was fun! Pittsburgh is much cooler than I thought it would be. Actually I barely knew anything about the city except that it bleeds black and gold. It turns out that besides Steelers fans, Pittsburgh is filled with bridges, churches, french fries, and craft beer. Yes, please!

Check out my pics! The rundown:

1. Drive wasn't bad at all. Decent rental, good tunes, and AC that didn't slow the car down. I'd say travel time was about 20 hours in total, including stoppage time.

2. One of the stops was to Troegs Brewery in Harrisburg. We didn't do the tour, but we did partake in the sampler. We thought it would be a shot glass of each beer on tap, but to our pleasant surprise we got about 4oz per glass. And it only cost $8!!

3. Cool architecture galore!

4. The Andy Warhol Museum was very cool as well. We couldn't take any pictures inside, so I found this video to share one of my favorite exhibits. It's called Silver Clouds. I giggled the whole time.



5. BEERBEERBEER! There were so many to choose from! Ones to mention are Stone 14th Anniversary Empirical IPA and my new favorite, Rogue John John Juniper. We also drank $2.50 Genesee Cream Ales to even things out.

6. I keep writing "we" without sharing who WE were! Thanks to Rocks and Bakes for coming with me on another baseball adventure. I had a blast! You're both great company!

7. FOODFOODFOOD! Pittsburghers (is that what they are called?) put french fries on everything, even salad. YES. SALAD. I will prove this once Bakes uploads her pictures. Granted we were at a place called EatnPark, but still.

Primanti's puts fries and coleslaw right on their sandwiches. It was good, but the Rutgers Grease Trucks are better. I definitely recommend Fathead's for their million item menu and craft beer selection.

8. The bar crowds were either really young or really old. People between 26 and 40 did not seem to exist in Pittsburgh. If they do, they were at home with their spouses and children. Or, you know, just drinking at a different bar. We did hit around seven though...

9. I am really good at this. Punching: $3.


10. We stayed at the Doubletree in Bigelow Square, but pronouced it dooblahtra to make it fancy. They had cookies.

11. Rocks showed me how to do different types of planks. My abs still hurt.

12. Last but not least, the whole point of the trip...BASEBALL!

The Pirates kind of stink, but PNC Park does not. While it's small and has a similar layout to all the newer stadiums, the view makes it worth the trip:


I must say the ballpark isn't very Piratey, though. They didn't even sell eye patches! What the fuck?? The things I really did like were they named the bridge leading into the stadium after Roberto Clemente, his and Honus Wagner's statues, and the tribute to the Crawfords, Pittsburgh's Negro League back in the day.

I am so glad I watched Ken Burns' Baseball documentary before this trip (I still need to write about that!). Josh Gibson and Satchel Paige were two of the best baseball players of all time. Unfortunately, MLB wouldn't allow blacks to play in what the owners called "a gentleman's agreement", an unwritten "no negros allowed" policy. Ignorant fucks. Paige eventually did get into the majors in 1948. Gibson would have too, but he died a few months before Jackie Robinson went to the Brooklyn Dodgers. More on this when I write about the series, but cool to note - Gibson was called "The Black Babe Ruth", but fans who watched them both play actually called Ruth "The White Josh Gibson."

Hmmm...what else is there to say about the Pirates game? It wasn't that good, they lost against the Astros 2-5. I'm glad they won the next two. Their mascot is a parrot. Most teams have a silly race between innings, usually with more mascots or a video representing something basebally or from the team/city. For example, at the Cyclones game they had hotdogs. Relish was a fast one. Mustard let me down:


In Pittsburgh they have perogies. I had no idea what the correlation was so I looked it up. It's as easy as Mrs. T's sponsors the race. They have names too: Jalapeño Hannah (green hat), Cheese Chester (yellow), Sauerkraut Saul (red) and Oliver Onion (purple). Told you it was silly.


Well I guess that's it!!! I'd definitely recommend a quick visit to Pittsburgh. If it was closer I'd totally go back during football season. Shit must be insane.

Hummina hummina

In t-minus 8 hours I will be roadtripping it to Pittsburgh for a Pirates game. My seventeenth ballpark. I'm finally going to break the halfway mark. Holla!!

California was my big trip of the year and jesus christ, April feels like decades ago. Seriously, I'm pretty sure I mentioned this before - I have ZERO concept of time. It's all one straight line that extends for eons. My last post was only three days ago and I had to check to see what I last wrote. I'm surprised I even remembered I have a blog!

So what's new with me? Nothing. Lots of things.

1. My grandmother had a stroke a few weeks ago. My dad and I visited her on Saturday. She's doing really well considering. I don't remember the last time I saw her (see previous paragraph). She's my only living grandparent and it's sad to admit I barely know the woman. My mom made it a point to protect my brother and I from my dad's side of the family. I'm sure I'll share why one day. Still a shame though. We have the same hands.

2. The Mick drama has officially eaten my brain. I tried to make it easy for him by being cool, giving him a nice friendship out to keep things light, but he continues to blow me off then writes really sweet texts/emails to apologize. I failed. Or he did. Whatever. Maybe I'll make out with some rednecks this weekend.

3. Notice I said "make out." I haven't whored it up in ages and now I know I can't handle banging friends either anymore. Sex is strictly for guys I'm dating. Sincerely.

4. Interesting work week. I don't care to say much more. All that matters is I got paid today, I have a summer Friday tomorrow, and I'm most likely taking a halfday on Monday to sleep in after the roadtrip.

5. My boobs look really good lately.

6. The other day I ate some Pirate's Booty and got it all over my face. I was still hungry so I decided to get some minty crack, aka Peppermint Pattie. As I was buying it, I said to Breen "I'm going to have Peppermint Pattie Booty face." (Mishka, this was for you to explain my FB status. Yes, I still need help but at least now you know what I was talking about!)

7. I saw this beautiful pink sky with a woman's face in a cloud. It may have been me, but I'm not sure...

8. I bought a cool necklace at Ann Taylor Loft, but I'm going to return it because I'd rather spend the money on beer. Drunken priorities.

9. When I get back from Pittsburgh I am SERIOUSLY looking for a new gig. To go back to #4, I am sick of wasting my time at a company that doesn't get shit done. Fuck em. Momma needs to feel contributory, challenged, and accomplished.

10. I didn't know that I knew "contributory" was a word.

11. I am still on a crazy taco kick. I should just be gay.

12. After work I came straight home to clean, pack, and shave so that I don't have to do any of it in the morning. As I was shaving my legs I thought, "I should shave my hootenanny as well." I've never referred to my vag as a hootenanny before, but now it is one for life.

13. I actually drank Coronas at a bar tonight. For a beer snob, that's low. I'm still in shock.

14. I finished True Blood season 2. Eric is soooo fucking hot despite his blonde hair. I hate blonde guys! They usually look like little girls to me, but holy balls, Eric is a sexy exception.

15. I'm five episodes into It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. I like how assholey everyone is! I hear it only gets better.

16. Gosh I'm up to 16 already? I guess I should go to bed.

17. I love NYC with all my heart, but I have to admit I am pretty psyched to get the hell out of dodge this weekend.

18. I'm still thinking of hitting Cooperstown next month. Depends on the cashflow. I really need to buy new clothes instead of beer and basebally things. (Penis!)

19. Okay so I don't want to sleep around, but I am horny as fuck. I blame Eric. Damn, I need a boyfriend.

20. It's almost midnight. I should go to bed.

21. Okay...going. Good night, Ned!

I figured it out!

I figured something out that bothered me all weekend. I'm not going to share it, but I will share my sense of accomplishment.

It's like solving a math word problem on the toilet. So proud!

Yeah. Stuff.

It amazes me how every time I get dissed I obsess about it for days. Months even. True the Mick thing just happened, but I'm still not done driving myself crazy. The joke is if you would have asked me if I liked him a week ago I would have hemmed and hawed about it. Why do I freak out about guys who aren't worth it!?!? Sigh...

This weekend was a lot of fun, despite the drama cloud.

Friday - A lovely day walking and lunching with Bakes, Megkefel, and baby Henry. I stayed in that night and watched True Blood season 2 episodes 1-4. It's not the best show, but I'm hooked. Some of the characters are amazing (Lafayette!) and all they do is fuck. Seriously, I'm always horny when I watch it. Lots of skin, lots of blood (ew), and lots of hot.

Saturday - Did nothing all day, then went to Coney Island with Stevie, Hugs, and Tobly for a Cyclones game. It was so fun, but the team is horrible. Fall-down-trying-to-catch-a-pop-up horrible. Best parts of the game were the fireworks at the end and the player Cody Holliday. He wasn't good or anything, I just could have SWORN the announcer said "Coney Holland" when he came up to bat. This made me giggle all day. He really should consider changing his name.

I am happy to report The Cyclone is officially my favorite roller coaster. Apparently the Tatsu incident has scarred me for life as I am too scared to go on rides that flip upside down. FAIL! I will only ride wooden ones (heh) going forward.

I am unhappy to report that my arm fat has gotten so out of control it somehow got caught between the Cyclone seat bar and latch and I now have a lovely bruise. It wasn't until I took this picture that I realized it looks like a nipple. Yes, that's my arm. No, mine are pink.



Sunday - Did nothing all day again. In the evening I went down to the South Street Seaport for a bit and at night over to the west side to watch the fireworks. I totally picked the wrong place to watch, ending up on 26th Street between 11th and 12th with a bit of an obstructed view. The fireworks were still awesome, though!! Afterward I had one beer (one!) at a bar in my hood and then went off to bed. It was my last good night's sleep so far this week because SOMEONE decided not to put in their fucking AC until today. Who's that someone? ME!

Ugh. Monday night blew. Last night blew. Wait, today's Wednesday? Tonight should not blow now that the super just came and put it in (heh). I seriously thought I was dying Monday night. It hurt to breathe. Last night wasn't too bad, there was this amazing breeze coming through my bedroom until about midnight. Then it was unbearbly hot again. I slept until my body was soaked, which only took about an hour, rinsed in the shower, repeated. It was gross. My mattress must weigh an extra 10 pounds. Actually I wouldn't be surprised if I lost a few. Take that arm fat!

Ooo, forgot to mention I worked out this weekend. too. Back to doing good ol' Leg Magic and my Billy Blanks Boot Camp DVD. I could barely lift my legs yesterday. It felt good to work out and take care of myself...

This brings me back to the question at the beginning of this post: Why do I freak out about guys who aren't worth it!?!?

For the past two days I checked my Yahoo account at least 24 times to see if Mick wrote me back. I even directly checked Facebook a few times, just in case the email notification didn't flow through. OBSESSED. CRAZY. PATHETIC. Yeah, yeah, been there done that. What bothered me this time around was the anxiety. Why was I so anxious about it? What was driving me to be such a freak?

I'm sure it was a combination of my Pdiddy ending, the heat, and lack of sleep, but I believe there's another reason I'm being so neurotic. It's change. Or the fear of it. I wrote in my last post how "everything changes", but it didn't occur to me how much things can and will change after this until I was writing about it in my journal on my way home today. What I'm talking about is change within myself and my life. It's all positive ones, but I am anxious about them.

I want to get back on track and focus on me again by getting in shape and finding a new job. Remember Sexy, Simba, Something? It obviously hasn't happened yet and the year is halfway over!!

Having a few guys to hang out with and think about was fun for a little while, but it wasn't getting me anywhere. I never saw a future with any of them. If Mick hadn't been such a dick (rhyme!), nothing would have changed. I would have still hooked up with him every other weekend, probably still hooked up with Mr. J, maybe hooked up with someone else I'm lukewarm about, and so on. I knew I had to focus on finding real love before this poop went down, but I think this solidified it. Not the poop, the idea that I have to create space in my heart and mind for someone who will cherish being there. For someone I have no doubt in my mind I like and want to be with for a while. This is exciting!! I am one step closer to finding Mr. McGee!

Last and most importantly, this incident (or whatever it is) made me realize I'm awesome. You read that?!?!? I'm saying I'm awesome, world! I never say that shit and mean it!

My friends helped me come to this conclusion. As Tron said today, "Thighs, you're awesome. Other guys know it. Sooner or later you'll click with one of them. Stop freaking worrying about it and have fun until it happens." I honestly believe he's right!! Holy crap!! I'M AWESOME!

Every guy who hasn't liked me back can go fuck themselves. I am awesome, I'm saying I'm awesome, and if you're too fucking stupid to know this then up yours. And if you do know it then don't do something dumb to screw me over. Mick actually wrote "I think you're incredible" in his apology. This made me feel really nice as I don't think anyone's ever said that to me before, but seriously?? FUCK YOU. If I'm so incredible don't be a dick to me!

PHEW! So in other words, if this didn't happen I might have stayed in a rut for much longer. The interesting part is I'M the one that initiated the whole thing. I never mentioned I knew Mick was with a girl that night. Talk about master manipulation, huh? I could have said don't come, and yes, he could have declined and definitely not made out with her, but still. I'm not blaming myself, but I do believe I subconsciously initiated this change and the anxiety and obsessing came from not admitting it.

This is why I freak out over guys who aren't worth it - I knew they weren't from the beginning yet I allowed myself to get caught up in the moment. The freak out part tries to convince me I didn't waste my time even though I knew there was nothing there. The truth is I did and now I'm putting an end to it. I'm awesome and when I find the right guy he'll know it, he'll be just as awesome, and we'll be totally awesome together. WOOT!

Okay, done writing. It's OkCupid time. Hmmm...I wonder if Coney Holland is single...

Two Peas in a Pub

Mick and I are a lot alike. We're both impulsive, self-involved hedonists. I just realized this very second that's what I like about him. He mirrors some of the "bad" parts of me.

Friday night he actually texted me asking me if I was going out. I responded with an email the next day telling him how upset I was that he brought and made out with another girl right in front of me. He apologized saying he wasn't sure how I felt about him and didn't mean to hurt or upset me. I wrote him back today saying it's fine I'm over it, but we're not hooking up anymore.

This is the kicker - I'm pretty sure this is how he wanted it to play out. Why do I think this? Because I've done it before. Not this exact situation of course, but close. The beats are the same. I want something either consciously or unconsciously. If I don't know what it is or am wishy washy and don't ask for it specifically, I end up doing something dicky, I get called out on it, I apologize from the bottom of my heart, and everything changes.

Mick helped me realize it would be so much easier to bypass the dick part and just initiate the change in a positive, healthy, and mature way. It might not prevent someone from getting hurt, but honesty would lessen the blow.

Wow. I have to think about this some more...

Some funnies

Read Missing Missy and laugh.

Then watch this video and laugh again. It's not work friendly so put on your headphones and/or close the door, slackjob.

Fuck Shit Stack. Amazing.

I want to ride my bicycle...

Well, that sucked. It really is for the best, though. (Thanks Rolo!) Now I don't have to waste my time thinking about him anymore!

Awesome things:

It's Friday, I have a four-day weekend, it's beautiful out, I already went for a run (woot!), I sat by the water and did some thinking, I'm thoroughly enjoying my iced vanilla latte from Dunkin Donuts, I have I Want To Ride My Bicycle stuck in my head, AND I'm about to throw a solo living room dance party.

I have really great friends, a big thanks to Bakes and Jarv for taking care of me and staying out way past their weeknight bedtimes. And another big thanks to the bartender at Crehan's for shutting the bar down right before I walked in because the last thing I needed was another beer at 3am in the morning.

In closing, maybe I'll be upset again later. Maybe I won't. At this very moment I feel fantastic, I'm happy to be alive, and good or bad, I do love how my shit's always interesting.

Not OK

I'm sorry Juniper, I lied. I'm not okay.

I invited Mick out tonight and he actually brought a girl with him. I've never felt this something ever. I wrote "something" because I'm not sure how I feel yet. I haven't stopped crying since I met her. I thought I could handle it, but I couldn't. It's not even about him hooking up with someone, it's more about him being so fucking inconsiderate to bring a girl out in my presence. There was absolutely positively no reason to invite someone you're dating to hang out with a girl you've hooked up with. None whatsoever except to say I'm done with you.

I've slept with a lot of guys so you would think I'm used to feeling shitty at some point. Nope, this is probably the worst I've ever felt because a "friend with benefits" treated me like I was never his friend at all. This hurts me more than any one night stand ever could.

It's 3am now. I had fun with Bakes and Jarv, but unfortunately every time I peed I cried. Fa! That sounds like it hurt to pee. It didn't, it was just my alone time...

Now that I wrote this I'm already starting to feel better. I've been unsure about my feelings for him from the get-go, so this might really be a blessing in disguise. Obviously he's not into me and since he chose the worst possible way to share that fact I should be able to move on with ease. Maybe not this very minute as I'm bombedly sensitive, but soon.

Until then I have to admit this fucking blows. I'm not giving up hope, though. I know the love of my life is out there somewhere and I'm hoping this experience helps me find him sooner. You know, once I sober up...

In the meantime, rejection can suck it.

The gyno says...

I am a binge drinker. This is not a surprise. The medical definition of a binge drinker was though, only four drinks in one sitting for women. Yikes. At this point I can only (“only”) handle about 6 beers a night, less if it’s a high alcohol percentage ala Dogfish Head’s 18% (!!) 120 minute IPA. And by handle I mean not black out. Double yikes. At least I have a glass of water with every beer. If I don’t, I’m in trouble!

So, what to do with this information. Drinking seems to be the reason I don’t do a lot of things I want to lately. Actually strike that, getting drunk does. I haven’t run, read, write, looked for a new gig, bought new work clothes that I desperately need, or finally fix up my apartment all because my raging hangovers and high bar tabs are in the way. I even said the other day that all I want to spend money on right now is baseball and beer. A couple of things about this statement: one, this is stupid and two, where is my penis?

I have decided that for the month of July I will not get drunk except for (always an exception, the first sign of alcoholism. Shut it.) tonight for an Astoria pub crawl and the weekend of the 16th-18th when I’m in Pittsburgh for a Pirates game (penis!). I will still go out, but I will not have more than three. Not not not. This is perfectly reasonable. In fact, last night I went to Crazy Ass and had ginger ale. So there.

In case you’re wondering how this topic came up at the lady doctor, my cooch does not smell like hooch. She’s very holistic in her approach, asking questions about everything from stress, diet, safety (ex: do I wear a seatbelt), to the obvious sexy time deets. I highly recommend her! Just don’t be surprised when she says you drink too much because you probably do if we’re friends.

Holy Fuck My Butt

I'm at work, writing. Not working. I got home around 2am last night and can't be bothered. I'm getting antsy about it though. It's so quiet here. A little too quiet. A little too Raph. Luckily I'm leaving at 3pm for a doctor's appointment. Gynogirl's Vulvacabulary. My greatest work.

I guess I'm thinking in short sentences. I should just start a Twitter account, but since I don't have the interweb on my phone it seems pointless. I'd like to be able to twat as often as possible. Now I post-it. If I think of a funny phrase I jot it down. Like Holy Fuck My Butt. I said this yesterday and I don't recall why. Today's funny had me crying. Bella and I were making dinner plans and what I meant to say was, "Let's do it later in the month." but it came out as "Let's do it after the teens." Jager shots after midnight work wonders for the talking skillz.

Speaking of z's, Canz in Astoria is annoying because it should be awesome and it's not. The end. Crazy Ass however (my made up nickname for my new favorite bar) is the shitz. I don't know why I feel the need to give it a nickname rather than a real shoutout, but I do. I've decided to trust my gut more. Wishy washy Thighs gets into trouble. Like this past weekend. I had plans to visit Spags up in CT and asked if we could reschedule because it wasn't good timing. She's uber upset about it. I feel really bad. Earlier last week I had a weird feeling about the trip and if I would have just listened to my gut the badness might have been avoided.

Another gut feeling, I just found out my cousin's annual 4th of July party in NJ was cancelled. Now I can do whatever I want this weekend, but something is telling me to be planless. I don't know why. Maybe my commitmentphobia is back? Maybe I'm going to die? Maybe I'm going to sleep? Who knows?? The only thing I'm definitely doing is going to the west side to watch the fireworks over the Hudson. Stupid Hudson. If the show was on the East River LIKE IT SHOULD BE, I could watch from my roof.

Boys update. I'm "breaking up" with Mr. J. We hung out a couple of weeks ago and I saw him last night for a few minutes. He really is a nice guy and totally into me (I rarely have the confidence to say that, but with him I'm sure), it's just that I'm not totally into him. I was forcing it only because I thought it was cool we ran into each other. Same with Mick. We've hooked up a few times the past month or so (maybe longer), but I don't know what I'm doing. I like him, I don't, I really like him, I don't. It's the stupidest fucking dance ever. I can't figure out why this is so hard! Fucking pandas. This is the reason I went back on OKC. I want love motherfuckers! Ha, I should make that my profile tagline. Ha, I don't think I've ever written "ha" in a post before.

The only thing worse than Bud Light is free Bud Light because then I'm forced to drink it. - Thighs McGee, 06/18/10

55 minutes to doctor. Man, I'm useless. At least I got to see Chewie last night. He's my male bestie if you didn't know. Brother from another mother. Gay. He's not gay, "brother from another mother" is gay.

Ugh...hangover is getting worse now that I ate crappy pizza. The joke is I just said how I've never had a bad slice in NY. Oh the irony. EYERONEE. That looks like EVERYONE.

Last week I hit up two Mets games. Wait what did I do last week? Monday, dinner. Tuesday/Thursday Mets games. Friday, Rolo's going away party. SAD. She moved to Boston...waahhh! (If you are reading I MISS YOU!). Saturday, OH MY GOSH, the awesomest bridal shower I've ever been to. It was a surf and turf (this phrase will never catch on). Sunday, Crazy Ass with Bakes. I love being a regular at a bar. It makes me feel cool.

I drink too much. Actually no I don't. I only drink twice a week. Wait that's a lie. I drink Friday and Saturday nights. Sometimes Sundays. Rarely during the week. Why am I still lying?

I haven't run since the race. I freakin' miss it!! I'm so fucking moody lately and I know it's because I haven't worked out. I'm hoping to run this weekend. There, that's a plan! Fireworks and running sounds poifect.

I'm going home to change my bra, wash my crotch, and take a dump. - Thighs McGee, 06/20/10

CJ just came in and handed me a card with a picture of a big-lipped robot. His name is Motor Mouth and "his head's like a bucket, full of metal, wires & computer chips. But his appearance isn't complete without a set of wacko lips!" This is the greatest day of my life.

Shit, I do drink too much. I just remembered I'm going over to Crazy Ass again tonight, which is ridiculous because I've mentioned it three times in this post. Maybe I won't drink. It could happen.

34 minutes. I need a new job. No word from Melba. It's been two weeks since I applied. Look I even gave it a nickname, I should totally work there! I haven't loved my job since Company. I haven't thought very hard since January. I need a change. Updated plans for this weekend: fireworks, running, job search. Oh and batting cages. I love batting cages. Oh and pool! I want to start playing more. Oh and Toy Story 3! I forgot I'm going on Friday. Maybe I'll rent the first two. Netflix has a long wait on them though.

Oh oh oh!! I haven't written about Ken Burns' Baseball documentary series yet. I LOVED it. Another thing to do this weekend. Gosh, now I'm tired.

Facebook told me the Verizon iPhone will be available in January. Yay! Guess I'm hanging onto My Boy Blue another few months. If the poor thing doesn't kick soon...

Two words: greek yogurt. Amazing. Yoplait can go fuck itself. Dannon, well I still like the fruit on the bottom and how it rhymes with my name. It ain't yogurt, though. Fage rules.

17 minutes. Hmmm...my appointment's not until 3:40pm so I could potentially walk the 50 blocks to Soho. Or take the subway to 14th and walk from there to save time. Maybe I'll walk home. I wish I had my sneakers with me. And my camera. Good-bye V train!! I will miss your emptiness.

My stomach just made a loud noise that sounded like pull-starting a lawnmower. Maybe I should go to the bathroom.

Going.

Yay OkCupid!

I decided to try online dating again and within 10 minutes of me updating my profile I get an IM from this shitfucker. Apparently OKC still has douchebags and crappy instant messaging.

Douche: hey
Douche: how are you?
Douche: hello?
Me: Hello
Douche: looking for serious or casual?>
Me: Serious
Douche: looking for serious or casual?
Douche: hello?
Me: Serious
Douche: you very sexual?
Me: No. Completely frigid.
Douche: cup size?
Me: F for Fuck Off.
Douche: cup size?
Douche: hello?
Me: F
Me: For FUCK OFF>
Douche: cup size?

Hee hee!

This still makes me giggle:

Change

There is change in the air today! I can feel it! Good vibes, good vibes...

Yeah, Payday!

Well I made it to payday. Fun money is back!! To congratulate myself for making it two whole weeks of coming directly home after work every night, I treated myself to something special. I immediately went out and bought a brand new flat screen tv!! It is AMAZEBALLS and it only cost $950!!!

It's so fucking cool!

And I'm so fucking lying! I did not buy a television, but I did spend $9 at Caravan Chicken to get the ribs, rice, and beans platter. I'm feeling a little guilty about it, so I figured if I put my "splurge" into perspective I'd leave myself alone.

It worked. I even have leftovers for tomorrow, so there. $4.50. Ass.

Nerdorable

I'm back on my never-having-kids phase, which this time around doesn't feel like much of a phase and may actually be the final decision. I almost asked my mom if I should get my tubes tied, but then realized it would probably upset her. Sorry Peter and Jack, maybe I'll change my mind again before it's too late.

Anyhoo, regardless if I have kids or not, this is fucking adorable. And I don't even like Star Trek either!

I applied! I applied!

Crikey!! I nervous!! Fingers crossed. Fingers crossed.

IT WAS AWESOME!

I DID IT!! The 10K was so awesome!! I am so proud of myself!!

I don't know how the fuck it happened, but I pretty much jogged the whole time. My goal was to do finish in 90 minutes and I beat it!! 78 minutes baby!


The first mile was pretty rough. That's when the humidity got me. Mother Nature obviously did not read my letter, but I must say the heat was manageable once I got into the park. The race started at 61st and Central Park West, into the park at 90th, went up to 110, and then down the east side to 67th. I'm pretty sure I hit mile 3 at 40 minutes so i was pretty consistent pacer. Miles 3-4 were the hardest though, lots of ups and downs, so I walked most of that one. But my word, when I got to mile 5 I just took off! I don't know where the hell the energy came from, but I ran the last 1.2 miles straight. There's something about seeing 800 meters, 400 meters, 200 meters that made me want to end strong. Rocks and Bakes were waiting for me at the finish line. I was so happy to see them!

Oy, I feel like I'm just throwing words up. I had such a healthy morning and then we went out drinking to celebrate. Yada, yada, yada...I woke up on my bathroom floor. Yikes.

I RAN A 10K!! WOO HOO!!