Monday, December 31

Parental Safe Word

Yeah, that's right. I have a safe word with my parents. Pervs.

I was talking to my mom about a realization I had this morning. Shizza as my witness, she freaked the fuck out before I even came close to finishing my third sentence.

ME: "...yada it got me thinking about him and what my initial reactions were to his situation and I realized..."

MOM (sounding like a cross between Barbra Streisand and the Tasmanian Devil): "GET TO THE FUCKING POINT THIGHS! WHAT ARE YOU ABOUT TO FUCKING SAY?!?!?!"

ME: "MA! Calm down! What the fu-uck?? What did you th..."

MOM (possessed by demons, growling through her teeth): "JUUUUST FUUUUCKIINNGG SAY IIIITTT

ME: "MA! All I was gonna say was that I don't want to be in debt anymore!!"

MOM (now June Cleaver): "Oh. Well, good. Why didn't you just say that!?!??!"


My mom explained that she just never knows what shenanigans I'm going to get myself into. For Pete's sake, I'm not THAT impulsive...heh heh.

So now we have a safe word. This word will only be used when my parents vehemently disagree with a life choice I either made or am about to make. Since this safe word will replace any verbal ass-tearings, I figured I should pick a word that oozes pure evil, just like my mom does when she's screaming at me. The first thing that came to mind...


The Thighs family safe word is Nosferatu. I seriously think she'll raise the dead when she says it.

Uh oh...I'm sooooo tempted to piss her off now to see what happens...must. grow. up!

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