Monday, February 7

Breaking it off.

I'm breaking it off with The Gentleman tonight. I need some Thighs therapy to get me through this...

If The Gentleman made me laugh things might be different. That's the only thing "wrong" with the guy. I'd really like to be friends. Maybe catch a Mets game one day.

The truth is I'm way too stressed out right now to be dating two people. There, I said it. I AM STRESSED OUT.

I'm trying my best to adjust to this new job, which I know I will love, but it's so many changes at once that it's a little overwhelming.

It doesn't fucking help that I've felt like shit the past three weeks. I am officially a hypochondriac now.

I still haven't gotten my Cobra information yet, so who knows how much my follow-up doctor appointment this week is going to cost me.

My mom has become my therapist and I'm worried that my stress is stressing her out.

My dad went for a biopsy today to see if he has prostate cancer. I've fooled myself into thinking I'm not worried, but I really am.

I miss feeling well enough to go out and have fun. I'm not even talking about boozing it up either. I had a great time cooking with the girls, at my friends' birthday party, and watching the Superbowl, but I am still not myself yet. I'd love to actually feel like I'm in the moment again.

Last but not least is MD. I like him too much to date other people right now. I have no clue what will happen next, but I'm willing to wait it out a bit longer. Plus, I fucking baked for the guy:

The Gentleman doesn't stand a chance. I can't string him along when I have all of the above on my mind. He deserves to be someone's first thought, not their eighth. I hope he finds someone more awesome and less anxious.

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