Happy Thoughts!

I'm taking this MD thing one day at a time. Today I feel okay about my decision! Sure I cried a couple of times, but that's not a bad thing. I needed it.

Work was fun this week. I was made the point person for user validation issues, which means I have to help them resolve any differences they find between the old and new system data. Most of the time it's because the person didn't read the documentation correctly, but every once in a while something new and nerd-interesting comes up.

For example, a record in the new system had the date 1/1/1900 and the same record from the old system in the Excel spreadsheet they were comparing it to had 1/2/1900. When I checked the old system source table in Access the record read 1/1/1900. I thought, well maybe it's a copy and paste issue. I was right! If you copy 1/1/1900 from an Access table it will read 1/2/1900 when you paste it into Excel. A Google search said this is a known Excel bug that has to do with Lotus 123 and 2/28/1904 being a leap year. All dates prior to 2/28/1904 are off by one in Excel and Access.

Now I thought that was the answer, but then I just checked this theory in Excel and actually I don't think that's the full reason. If you turn dates into a General format a number pops up (ex: 2/18/11 = 39130). Nerd-interesting, you know what date number 1 is? 1/1/1904. It has to be related to the copy and paste issue, right? I don't have Access on my Mac, so I can't keep digging...

See what happens when I don't drink on Friday nights?

A new guy named Zebra started this week. I like him! When I first met him on Tuesday I got a bit nervous because he has a legal accounting background and I don't. I later realized that I will learn a ton from him and who knows, maybe some healthy competition will be good for me. Now I hope he becomes my new work husband!

I think going to the client office every day is going to be good for me. I like meeting new people, the commute is super fast, and it's way too easy to get sucked into myself (heh) at home.

Oh by the way, today I decided a vagina is an inbox and an ass is an outbox.

I wasn't feeling well this week again. I was getting super lightheaded whenever I walked around. Yesterday was really bad - I had to stop twice to get my bearings while walking during lunch, then I practically had to coach myself out of the office and onto the subway to go home. I know my doctors think it's stress/depression and maybe they're right, but that's not fair. Something's off. While I might be overweight I am not obese or deathly unfit. I walk all of the time, I climb my four flights and subway stairs with no problem. Having to stop after a 15 minute walk is wrong. It fucking sucks that they won't take me seriously.

Yes, I have to admit that the MD stress is bothering me, but really? Come on! This lightheaded thing has been going on for a fucking year now. Did I already say it's not fair???

This morning was hard, but I'm feeling okay now. The more it happens, the less I panic, so that helps. Not that I want this to be a regular occurrence, but not freaking out is making it easier to deal with. Same thing with my food intolerance. Today I might have pushed it a little much with the bread/sugar. I ate a Clif protein bar, lots of fruit, half a turkey sandwich with the bread, two chicken tacos with the tortillas, and half a Guinness. I couldn't finish my beer because I hit the wall. It's sort of like being bloated on the inside, if that makes any sense.

I was a little worried that I'll be all fucked up tomorrow, but I shut that down. The intolerance only started this year, so it's going to take some time to figure out how much I can handle. It's not like I downed a bag of chips or pretzels, which interestingly enough I keep having dreams that I do and then spit them all out. Obviously this is on my mind.

My relationship with food is changing so much. I was always a big eater. A loaded eater. Whether it's salad or cereal or a burger, I love lots of stuff on it. Now I have to really think about what I'm eating and plan. It's a good thing.

Speaking of plans, I don't have many this weekend and I'm super excited about it. Juniper and I might check out a museum and Jarv and I might go to brunch. Other than that I plan on watching my Netflix (Modern Family is so good!), hitting the gym (whether I feel up to it or not), doing my taxes, and being nice to myself. The only person I've thought about this past month was MD. That's it. Sure I'm a self-involved blogger, but I seriously have not put myself first in weeks. This weekend I plan to do just that.

Happy thoughts!