Wednesday, June 27

Random One-Night Stand: Life Goes On

People who work in Publishing are notoriously poor, especially our first couple years in the industry. As a result, we always know where to find the best happy hours. Down the Hatch was pretty close to the office so it quickly became our go-to bar for cheap beer and random hook-ups.

I think it was a Tuesday night when just a couple of us went to DTH. I was gabbing it up with a friend when I noticed this guy was full on staring at me. Like full on. We started talking and eventually he asked me out on a date.

In Thighs dating history only two things happen when I go on a date:

1. I immediately don't like the guy, making me feel relaxed and act like myself, which leads the guy to believe we have a connection when we really don't. I eventually have to turn him down.

2. I immediately like the guy, making me nervous, drink more, and have sex on a first date, which usually doesn't lead to a second date.

I can't help it. If I'm attracted to someone, why wouldn't I want to bang them?? Yeah, yeah. Cow, milk, free, bugger off.

Let's call this guy Doctor C. It turns out Dr. C was a scientist working out of the Museum of Natural History. He had to stay at the lab late so we met for drinks on the upper west side, not too far from his job.

After about four beers, two shots, and some singing (him, not me) Dr. C asks if I wanted to go to the museum even though it was closed to the public. I said shit yeah, so off we stumbled.

It was awesome to walk around the museum when it's empty. I'm not much of a museum goer, but when I do go it's usually this one. The dinosaurs are my all time favorite, so I asked Dr. C if we can go there. He said sure, but wanted to stop by his office for a sec.

Well "stop by" anywhere with me when I'm drunk and you'll get some. At least that's how I used to roll. We had crazy scientist sex on his desk, floor, and I even think his rolling chair. At one point a security guard came by and knocked. Here I am standing naked behind the door, while Dr. C talked to the guard, holding the door so it covered his lower half of his body, which was completely naked and half-mast.

When the guard finally left we just started laughing. We uh, wrapped things up, left his office, and went down to see the dinosaur exhibit. It was totally fun.

The rest of the night is a bit hazy. I think we walked around by the planetarium for awhile and then hopped in a cab. I do remember getting all hot and heavy in the backseat, but I didn't go home with him. I like my bed.

I'm pretty sure I heard from him the next day, but after that he didn't call and I didn't care. It was one of those hook-ups that were just too cool to even bother seeing each other again.

I refer to that night as my Ross and Rachel date. To this day I still get a devilish grin every time I walk by the museum.

There was another reason why I didn't care about hearing from him, though...the "C" stands for Corky. I'm sorry, but scientist schmientist...all I thought of was that fucking tv show.

<"Insert your own down syndrome joke here.">

I'm feeling politically correct tonight. Fa!

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