Paper shopping bags as purses

I wasn't a regular subway rider until I moved to Brooklyn a few years ago. It was around then I noticed an interesting trend in purses.

Many women will carry your typical pocketbook (Ruth Clare), but a good percentage will also be carrying a small paper shopping bag, too.

This shopping bag tends to carry an umbrella, a pair of work shoes, maybe Tupperware lunch. It makes sense because when you're done with those items or dropping them off at work, you can easily fold the paper bag up and tuck it into your regular purse for the way home.

These bags are usually gift bags from either a birthday or Mother's Day, a non-holiday colorful one, or a small bag from a store. I've noticed plenty of Clinique, Bloomingdale's, or Gap bags used to tote random stuff. Again, this seems perfectly acceptable.

The key to using any bag from a store or company is to use some common sense and discretion. Seems easy enough. I mean you wouldn't carry a huge bag that said "Valtrex" on it even if it was a freebie from one of those coked up pharmaceutical sales reps, right?

Well today I was walking out of the subway and noticed a bag. This bag actually made me gasp. Me. Gasp.

One of the last words I think anyone would use to describe me is "conservative" (the others being "tan" and "sober") so if I was a little shocked...well, this lady's fucking out there.

What store was the bag from? Guess. Don't guess. It was from Babeland (this is a clean link).

For the Mormons who read this, Babeland is a sex shop. Her bag was as bright as the store's awning and big enough to fit a pair of boots, or well in this case, three dildos and a butt plug.

I was shocked. I mean I couldn't be the only one who knew where that bag was from. I had to see what was inside so I caught up to her. I was slightly disappointed that the usual paper-shopping-bags-as-purses items were inside: a newspaper, sweater, and umbrella. What the fuck.

The woman herself seemed like your average, petite brunette, maybe late 30s? She was wearing a suit dress without the jacket, her outfit saying "office" while her bag said "orifice."

I really wanted to follow her to see where she was going. If she was going to the office, I would have LOVED to hear or see people's reactions. Seriously, I can not be the only person in midtown who knows what the bag means.

I don't know what I would do if someone at Company brought in a sex bag like it was nothing. Even Victoria's Secret bags are a little much. I think depending on the person I'd either laugh or puke, not much gray there.

So if you're looking for a kinky brunette that likes sex toys, hang out at the 35th Street and 6th Ave exit of the NRW train around 8:45am and look for The Bag.

If you're looking for a kinky blonde that likes sex toys, post a comment and give me your email address. Wocka, wocka!