Monday, December 27

Just when...

I decided to be happier and laugh more, a funny thing happened.

I was lying in bed about twenty minutes ago when I heard something crash. I thought it was the metal weight that keeps the roof door closed, so I jumped up to go fix it. As I was standing in my living room putting on my sneakers, I heard someone trying to open my own door. Thoughts flew:

Did my super make an extra copy of my key and is now trying to break in thinking I'm not home? Did my brother somehow make it back to NYC all the way from Jackson through the snow? Did I give MD a set of keys in a drunken stupor and he came here to profess his love for all of eternity?

I ripped open my door and saw 3A, one of my really nice neighbors that live right below me. He thought he was at his door. D'oh!

He apologized and said, "Oh wow, I've never seen another apartment here. Did you paint your living room?" (It's a skyish blue with blue-green trim.) I invited him in and we banged in the hallway.

Just kidding. I invited him in and it turns out he's a comic fan, so we talked shop while he looked through my trades. I felt a little dumb since my living room was a mess and I was wearing Tat's oversized pajama pants, but whatever. He took the first two Sandman trades and went back home. I ran up to the roof and it turns out the door wasn't open.

Now that I wrote this I guess it's not the best story in the world. I just thought it was perfect timing considering I want to be more lighthearted and fun. Why is this? I'm sick of taking shit so seriously. WHY SO SERIOUS?

I was in the worst mood this morning for no reason. Well, that's not true. I have plenty of reasons for being negative, but I have plenty of reasons to be positive too. I choose to be negative because that's all I know. Boy stuff, work stuff, health stuff - I let all of this shit get to me. I hate this about myself, which is a negative statement in itself. I hate being a certain way, I hate that I hate being a certain way, and so on. I don't really know how to stop this, so I'm just going to. Sometimes thinking the shit out of things doesn't get me anywhere, so I'm not going to think about things anymore. Just fucking do them.

I'm just going to be fucking positive.

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