Wednesday, July 18

Low Love Rider

As predicted, the low came after last week's amazing high.  Self-fulfilling prophecy? Maybe. Probably. I don't know.

I'm nearing the end of it, which is a relief.  I should get my pdiddy today, so that will help. I BETTER GET IT. Gah!

The past few days I had a glimpse into mine and MDLL's future.  We have such a loving, affectionate, open, honest, and comfortable relationship.  We worked hard to get here and I'm so incredibly glad we did.

There's one thing I knew before MDLL, but never really saw in action though. Boys are stupid.  WHY YOU SO DUMB BOY??

Saturday was an awesome (yet emotional) day for me.  It started with a trip to the Brooklyn Botanic (I always thought it was Botanical) Gardens and Coney Island with Juniper.  Then I met up with Rocks, Rower and Slow Jams for the tail end of a Shakesbeer pub crawl where actors do a quick scene in each bar.  Then Rocks and Rower came with me to Crazy Ass for a bit to hang with MDLL.  Then I took MDLL to the emergency room.

A little less than a year ago, MDLL slipped in his bathroom when he was bombed, twisted his ankle, and fractured his leg.  I argued with him for almost two hours before he finally let me take him to the hospital.  Yes, I'm a doctor Nazi (thanks mom!). You would think MDLL accepts this by now, but no.

Saturday night we were watching TV when he went to the kitchen to get a drink.  I heard glass break and him say, "Oh shit."  I called out, "Everything okay?" He said, "Nope."  I got up thinking it was a simple mess. I wish.  Blood was EVERYWHERE.  He sliced his foot open and it would not stop bleeding. I've never seen that much blood in my life.  I was worried he was going to pass out, so I said let's get a car and get you to the hospital. You know what he did?  He fought me on it by saying - wait for it - he'd sew the two inch gash on his foot himself. BOYS = DUMB.

A few years ago he had a party at his apartment, slipped on some ice, hit his chin on the kitchen counter, and split it open.  In his drunken glory, he decided to stitch it himself with some floss and a sewing needle.  In all honesty, he did a really good job and part of me is slightly turned on by his Ramboness.  That being said, he is not pulling that shit when I'm around.  You have insurance, then use it.

After 20 minutes of arguing - wait, is it arguing if you don't yell?  We weren't yelling at each other, he was just being thick while I was being stern.  When I finally got him to the door, he said, "Thighs, I can do it myself."  I silently stared him down. Apparently my eyes said it all because he didn't complain once we left his building.  In fact, three hours and eight stitches later he kept telling me how much he loved me, how happy he is being with me, and how thankful he is I'm here for him.

NERD ALERT - I heard the ER clerk ask him if Thighs McGee was still his emergency contact.  I smiled and teared up.  He looked at me and said, "Yes she is." MELT.

After that long emotional day, I spent Sunday by myself to recuperate and rest.  MDLL took off Monday so he can give his foot time to heal, which apparently meant go to Crazy Ass for some day drinking even though he's on antibiotics.  Dumb thing 1.  Later that night I made jambalaya and he doused it with gourmet uber hot hot sauce I bought him for his birthday.  I told him to only use a little, but he ignored me. Dumb thing 2. Seconds after eating it he broke into a sweat and got the hiccups. Dumb thing 3 is he KEPT eating it, which resulted in him having to take off again Tuesday because of stomach issues.  Sigh.  I came back over last night to make him a healthy, non-spicy, tummy friendly dinner and take care of him.  He was incredibly thankful and appreciative, but again WHY ARE BOYS SO DUMB?

So having spent the better part of the last four days with MDLL, I had a glimpse into our future.  Some thoughts:

1. I love falling asleep and waking up with him.

2. I love cooking with and for him.

3. I love I can go home if I want to, which means I am NOT ready to cohabitate.

4. I now understand how easy it is to become a bossy and naggy girlfriend.  I never thought I'd be one, but here we are.  I felt he was acting dumb, so I told him how he should be acting.  In my mind it seemed obvious - If you get hurt, go to the doctor. If you're on medication, don't drink, and go easy on your stomach.  But that's just it.  It's in MY mind, not his.  Sure later he said I was right about everything, but in the moment he felt I was being pushy.  I guess it's a fine line...

5. which means I need to keep my mouth shut about wanting him to be healthier and get some hobbies. For now anyways. Everyone teases me about my Groupon addiction, but I'm making up for time I lost last year. I'm also at the point in my life where I don't want to drink every day because it's counter intuitive to all of the work I've been doing to better myself. Unnecessary calories and spending aside, I don't want every new memory taking place in a bar. It's true the company matters more than the setting, but I'd much rather have a shared experience rather than a shared drink.

6. I also understand how easy it is to become a hermit couple.  Yesterday was the first time I played house. I came home from work, went to the grocery store, cooked dinner, and watched TV with him until we fell asleep.  It reminded me a little bit of when I was dating Tat in Staten Island, how I felt friendless and trapped. Granted I had some other things going on this week that contributed to those feelings, but it was odd.  Again, I know I'm not ready to move in with him and I also know I never want to be THAT couple who gives their identity and freedom to the relationship.

Phew! My low this past week wasn't in regards to MDLL, but it didn't help to have all of this going on with him.  The combination was emotionally overwhelming. The one positive thing about my lows is that I do seem to learn something new once they pass.  I just wish I wasn't so raw in the moment.

This too shall pass! ; )

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