Furball

When I was nineteen I worked at the local mall. One day this woman came up to me and said that she could feel I was surrounded by a lot of negativity. She explained that she was a psychic and offered to do a reading. I was intrigued, so a couple of days later I went to her house with a friend. She said three things to me I always held on to.

1. My boyfriend and I wouldn't last. I knew she was right, my family still calls him Psycho Joe.

True.

2. Psychology and computers would play big roles in my life.

I always had a passion for psychology (all nutbags do). For my first two years of college I was a Comp Sci major. Then I failed Calculus 2 not once, but twice since I never did my homework or went to class. I ended up with a BA in Psych instead. I eventually want to go back to school to get my master's and become an art therapist. I love coloring with crazies.

Computers play a huge role in my job right now. I'm actually not leaving Company anymore, I was offered an awesome gig in the IT department. My focus is on system and business process evaluations. I am super excited about it for lots of reasons, one being that I no longer have to work for Red or Soaps.

So this is true and true.

3: A guy named Furball would have a major impact on my life. I'm 60% sure she used the word soulmate, but I can't remember. Over the years I met probably 5-6 Furballs and each time I always think "Is this the one?" Then I got to Company and met him.

I had only been there about a month when we met. Furball had built a few databases that I needed to use so he came to train me. We hit it off right away. He's really cute, completely sinister, and has lady fingers, one with a wedding band. I didn't think much about it at first, then one day he invited me to a Weezer concert. He said his wife and brother couldn't make it, so would I care to go. I said sure and immediately called my friend Rockstar to ask if I could go to a concert with a married man. She said yes of course, as long as neither of us liked each other. We didn't.

When the concert was over we were walking to the subway so naturally I asked where he lived. It turned out he was living with his brother, his wife and he had separated two months prior. I was like say what!?!?! It was hard enough for me to wrap my head around hanging with a Married, let alone a Separated. I was only 27 for crying out loud, that shit's way too adult for me to deal with. Well, the details aren't mine to share, but the relationship was pretty bad. Furball was seriously thinking of getting a divorce. It was awful.

Furball and I soon became project managers of an implementation so we spent a lot of time together in the office. We'd be in at 8am and sometimes wouldn't leave until 9pm. If we did leave early enough we'd go out to dinner to brainstorm or unwind. We became very close really fast, I was happy to be there to help him through the mess.

It was about six months later that he came over one night to hangout. We snuggled up to watch a movie together and finally kissed when it was over. The kiss was nice, short and sweet. We looked at each other and both agreed that it would never happen again.

Fast forward to today. Furball and his wife are back together. He helped me through some really rough times of my own. Our friendship is one of the best I've ever had. When I thought about leaving Company I realized I didn't want to leave him.

And then I watched My Super Ex Girlfriend tonight. It was good, but motherfuck, why can't I watch a movie and not reflect on my life? Just once I'd like to not be impacted by it. I saw Grindhouse today too (FUCKING ROCKED) and I came away from it wanting to lose forty pounds and learn to throw a mean punch. And make out with Rosario Dawson and Rose McGowan at the same time.

In My Super Ex Anna Farris and Luke Wilson work together. The way they talked, touched, and looked at each other is so similar to Furball and I. By the end of the movie Farris and Wilson confess they loved each other, so what did I immediately start thinking???

I'm in love with Furball. I thought that and then started crying. I love him so much that my heart gets warm once I think of him. I love that he's a cynical grump, I love that he's got a sneaker fetish, I love that he drinks ridiculous amounts of coffee. I love that he talks with his hands, I love that he gets on my nerves, I secretly love when he jiggles my arm fat even though I pretend I hate it.

And then it hit me. What I love the most is that Furball "gets me". That's it. He just gets me.

It wasn't until he said it the other day that I realized that I've never felt that way before. I'm blessed with lots of great friends and have met a ton of people through the years, but I never ever felt like anyone got me. He's seen my light and my dark, my good and my evil, my sanity and my insanity. While he probably couldn't tell you my parents' names or my favorite beer, Furball knows me better than anyone else.

That's why I think I'm in love with him. I wouldn't have let him in and see me raw if I wasn't.

There will never be another kiss and that's okay, my love for him is bigger than that. He's impacted me in more ways than he'll ever know.

True.