Woo hoo!!!

"I’m pleased to announce that effective Monday, April 30th, Thighs will be joining our group as a Sr. Business Analyst. Thighs' wealth of experience in Publishing will certainly be an asset with the work we currently have on our plate. In addition, we expect that her analytical capabilities and sense for solid business/IT solutions will help the company."

FINALLY!! I'm so friggin excited! I get to stay at Company and work for Mags who said, "I will not let you fail." HE ROCKS!

The dilly is that I will be evaluated after 90 days. My key assignments are:

Production facilitation of the manufacturing PO project
Vendor maintenance update
Convert manual P&Ls to an automated solution
Convert manual forecasting system to an automated entry/reporting solution
Acclimate my knowledge of Oracle Financials

If all goes well I will get a decent raise and then another one in January when Company does it's annual reviews. ROCKIN'!

The past couple of months blew. The past week or so I acted like Peter from Office Space. I kind of came and went as I pleased, joked how I was going to gut a fish at my desk. I just needed to turn the volume in my head down and stop letting my impatience get the best of me.

And it worked out! I mean, I think this new job is going to be ridiculously challenging, but I feel totally ready for it. I'm moving up to a more corporate floor, so I have decided to go shopping for nicer clothes, stop partying during the week, and quit telling perverted fart jokes. Yes, fart jokes can be perverted if you do them right.

Mags isn't my direct boss, it's a woman named Fi. I've heard she's great to work with, but unfortunately she's on vacation for the next two weeks so I'll have to wait to get to know her. At least I'll have some time to get used to the new environment.

I can't believe I'm going to be in IT. I'm blonde with a nice rack! How can I be such a nerd?? It's all good though. I'm ready to move on in my career and make some fucking good dough.

I wanted to do that whole "Countdown to 30" thing, so lately I've been thinking about my new life plan. Here's what I got:

1. Kick ass in my new position
2. Get sweet raise in August and January
3. Pay off all of my credit card debt
4. Start saving money for the next 2-3 years
5. Go on world tour around 35
6. Come back from world tour and go to art school
7. Become art therapist, eventually opening my own practice by 45

Oh and at some point before the world tour I want to get married. Some time before 38-ish I want my first child. And at some point between today and May 31st I'd like to get fucking laid. It's been FOOOORRREEEVVVEERRR...and I gave Lost Girls to Janeypants so now I don't even have good masturbation material. Sorry, Bro.

AND get this, the chances of me getting laid in the next month or so without resorting back to my random hookup days has slightly increased. A few posts ago I mentioned that I emailed a famous blogger asking to meet him for a drink. He fucking said yes! He wrote me yesterday and said he was going away for the weekend, but let's touch base next week. I AM ECSTATIC!

I'm trying my best to not think about it. He is so feckin funny that I'm sure it will be a great time. I just hope we hit it off!! Must. not. obsess. Pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease let me enjoy this and not freak myself out!

Today I have been the laziest bastard. I woke up at noon and since then have been flipping between the NFL draft on ESPN and the ANTM marathon on MTV.

Despite having grown up in Brooklyn, my dad is oddly enough a huge Raiders fan. They got the first pick JaMarcus Russell a QB that has been referred to as the next Elway. Awesome. The Jets picked CB Darrelle Revis, the Giants grabbed CB Aaron Ross. I know the Jets really needed a cornerback, not too sure about the Giants though. I love football and have decided that this year I'm going to learn more about strategies. Maybe I'll sign up for a free fantasy league this year. It seems like peeps learn a lot doing that.

Anyhoo, got lots more to write but I think I need to get out of the apartment for a bit. I ain't doing shit tonight so maybe I'll post again later.