Bagless Upright

The vacuum in this pic is pretty similar to the one I've had for the past three years. It's a Dirt Devil Featherlite Bagless Upright. It is what it is, it does what it does. I grew up in a carpet-less house so as odd as it sounds, vacuuming is a bit foreign to me, just like cooking and tanning. As a result, if anyone ever asked me, "How much do you know about vacuums?" my response would probably be:

"They don't suck as well as I do."

OR

"Not much but, I know how to use one."

I recently discovered one of these statements is false. Know which one?

Take a good look at the picture. See that little white thing in the middle of the clear thing? That is called a "filter." Say it with me now, FIL-TER. Apparently, while a bagless upright vacuum does not need a BAG it does in fact still need a filter. I had no idea.

Delilah is a pretty big apartment. My living room and bedroom both have wall to wall area rugs so a vacuum became a necessity when I moved. I tried one of those electric brooms a while, but it was only good for mashing the crumbs deeper into the carpet.

I'm not sure if the Dirt Devil had a filter attached when I first bought it. I'm sure it did, but I honestly can't remember seeing a filter or, for that matter, removing it without registering I'd have to replace it. Then again, who knows what the hell I've done bombed and alone in my apartment...

The reason for discovering this so-called "filter?" My vacuum was due to explode any day now. There was barely any suction, dirt and dust was shooting out every where, and the apartment gets this awful burning hair/electricity stench for a good half hour post-"cleaning."

The sad part? This had gone on for about five months before I decided to go online and finally read the Dirt Devil Troubleshooting Guide.

The even sadder part? When I read: 'Dust escaping from cleaner. Filter may not be installed completely.' I said (out loud mind you), "What filter???"

And there ya have it. I am and will forever be, a blonde.

PS Going forward, "bagless upright" will refer to "an erect penis without condom." If, you know, I actually have sexual intercourse again.