The towels are kinda scratchy.

I rarely think my weekends go by too fast. They usually go by with too much beer or too little sleep, but not too fast.

Except this weekend. Friday I stayed in. Saturday I went to the annual Company holiday party at DaQ's gorgeous home. I love that I still get invited every year!! Afterwards I headed over to Bella's for holiday party number two. Did you know there's a port called Cockburn's? I totally bought a bottle because I am a 14 year old boy. "Cockburn, anyone?"

I was home by 11pm that night, but I didn't sleep too well again. Lefty bothered me a little, but she's doing much better now. Thank you Icy Hot, Advil, and shelf bras!! I have a bit of a cough and a scratchy throat (I keep hearing this Verizon commercial in my head), so I kept getting up for some water. Thanks for coming into work when you were sick, Tennis! Also, my damn radiators were really loud and the one in my bedroom started leaking. I could hear the water boiling on top of the valve. My super fixed them while I was at work today and I gotta tell you, it's eerily quiet in my apartment now. I guess the clanking and hissing were my noisy winter roommates. Luckily my gassy ass is filling some of the silence.

Yesterday I went to the bar with a couple of my guy friends to watch the Giants game. I had a great time hanging with them, but holy fuck did that game suck. (Rhyme!) It was probably the most devastating loss I've ever witnessed. Up by 21 points with 8 minutes left and they fucking blew it. I love March for three reasons: my birthday, St. Patty's Day, and it's the one month out of the year the Giants, Jets, and Mets can't disappoint me. Fucking brutal.

The Jets thankfully had a big win to counter the Giants big loss. They played the Steelers, MD's favorite team. I texted him some smack talk earlier in the day and the texts kept going until we met up at Crazy Ass around 6pm. I'm officially over him. Sure I slept with him and all, but whatever. I had a nice time and he's still the best kisser to date. Sue me. Oddly enough, I'm almost sad that I don't like him any more. Disconnection can be a bit somber, even when it's for a positive reason...

Tonight I realized I've spent most of my life feeling unloved, insecure, and less than. It started with my mom, then went to guys and bosses as I got older. I don't feel like I measure up.

Well this ends now. From here on out I'm going to make myself feel loved, secure, and special. I'm also going to surround myself with people who encourage these feelings. MD isn't a bad guy, but he didn't go out of his way to make me feel good. For the first time in my life, I know I'm going to find someone who will.