Thursday, August 2

Young Thighs

MDLL's mom gave him a photo album for his birthday a few years ago.  It has pictures of him as a baby up through college.  While he was an adorable child and a hot undergrad, it's so strange to see him with hair!  I don't like it!

He wanted to see pictures of me as a kid too, so when I was in Jackson last weekend I made a little photo album of myself.  As someone who loves introspection and connecting with my former selves, this experience was very therapeutic and educational for me...

1.  3 years old. Look how happy I am.  I am touched by this photo because I was pure, yet at the same time a little sad knowing the innocence didn't last.  Couldn't last?  

Note: I look exactly like my dad with a wig on and I'm wearing my cousin's hand me down Spider-Man Underoos (you can't see the red, but I know that shirt anywhere).

2.  6 years old. I'm a bit obsessed with this picture.  I wish I knew I was pretty. I'm tempted to dye my hair dark blonde/light brown this fall. 

3.  10 years old.  ME NOT PRETTY NO MORE.

4.  12 years old.  So nineties.  This was right around the time the shitshow of hormones, angst, depression, anxiety, and Boob Saga began.  I'm saddened over how much pain I was in.  I truly do wish I knew then what I know now.  I would have been nicer to myself.

5.  I don't seem to have many pictures from age 13 - 19.  The shitshow was undocumented for the most part.  Thank Shizza.  

Here I am at twenty doing E in my dorm room.  Even though I'm fucked up, this picture invokes innocence, youth, and freedom.  I had my whole life ahead of me.  I find this interesting because it's the same way I feel looking at myself as a young child.  

I was in my element when I was high or tripping. I thought it was because I was a natural space cadet (I am), but looking at my former selves all at once has given me a new perspective - I wanted to go back to a time before I was hurting.  In this moment below, I was there.

Obviously the come-down/hangover makes the pain worse, so drinking and drugging isn't the answer. Kids, just say no!!  It just struck me how similarly I reacted to this picture and the first one. 

I know a lot of people can't stand the Facebook timeline, but I see what they were trying to do.  Facebook has successfully connected us with each other, so I think the timeline was their attempt to connect us with ourselves.  There's something to be said for seeing pictures of yourself at different ages back to back. Whether you post it on FB, a blog, or in your own album, I highly suggest doing this.  Let me know how it goes!

1 comment:

Alix said...

The 10 year old pic is amazing!!! Do I see some crimping in your hair???