My mom's NOT an asshole.

For all the shitty shit my mom did in the past, she's come a long way.  I spoke to her this morning about MDLL.  She wrote me such a nice email that I had to share it:

Sometimes you have to stop and realize just how fortunate you’ve been – especially when you are feeling down and out:

You always wanted to live in the city;

You have many friends (old and new);

Your health has improved immensely from last year;

You are going to yoga, you run;

You took a chance with a new job (one that has supported you through your tough time last year) – one that’s rewarded you financially twice so far;

You had a loving relationship with someone – something you couldn’t imagine having previously;

You’ve actually considered marriage and motherhood –something you wouldn’t have chosen for yourself previously;

You gave all you possibly could – but you had to “lovingly” let go so MDLL could grow as a person/man;

You now know how a parent feels – when they have to “let go” and pray their child “does the right thing” and doesn’t get hurt;

You’ve realized you can’t make a decision or finalize a divorce for MDLL – that he has to grow and make that commitment forhimself (and it has nothing to do with you);

It’s not easy realizing you have no control over this;

And yes, you will feel strong enough to get back out there and see what fate has in store for you! 

Maybe not today…but definitely soon…

You are loved by your parents, brother and friends. And you are loved by MDLL as only he can at this time in his life.  But it’s not something you should lower your expectations to as much as he has to step up and go forward with his life, and fully participate in your relationship – without any strings attached.

Love you and are very proud of you – you will be stronger after all this!!