Monday, April 2

Happy Monday!

I am so glad last week is over. I had a mini-bout with depression this weekend. I know I was depressed because there were plenty of good things to be happy about yet I was still blue. All I wanted to do was hide under the covers. I had to force some fun...

Friday night I stayed in and watched Game of Thrones. It's a fantastic show. I never considered myself a prude (I don't think anyone has), but holy hell do these characters fuck a lot. Enough to make me blush! It reminds me of a medieval True Blood because of all the sex and death, although GoT is by far a better scripted, directed, and acted show. The last two episodes blew me away.

Saturday morning I caught up on New Girl. Such a funny show. I'm indifferent about Zooey Deschanel at this point. Like Zach Galifianakis and Michael Cera, she plays the same character over and over. At least they know their strengths. The supporting cast is the best. I consistently laugh out loud over her roommates' shenanigans, especially Nick's. I was dying at the end of last week's episode.

Saturday afternoon I had an eye doctor appointment. I wanted to murderdeathkill everyone. Nothing bad happened, I was just angry, cranky, and sad. I hated the world.  I begrudingly went to yoga with Juniper around 5pm. I've gone to this class once before and I really enjoy it, I just wasn't in the mood. Afterwards she cooked me a lovely dinner while we chatted it up. I had a great time hanging out, but once I got home I was miserable again. To snap out of it, I finally got around to watching The Misfits. It's a UK show about a raunchy fucked up group of teen thugs who randomly get superpowers. The first episode ruled, can't wait to watch the rest.

I hadn't slept well all week and Saturday was no different. I went to bed around midnight, woke up at 2am for a while, then woke up at 7am and couldn't go back to sleep. I got up and went food shopping, then headed to the city for brunch with Juniper and my Company girlfriends. I love our brunches; I wish we did them more often!! I snapped out of my mood for a bit, then the lazy shut-in feeling came and I wanted to go to bed. Unfortunately I signed up for another yoga class, so I begrudingly went to this one too.

WELL, I am so glad I did!!! It was a Chakra yoga class that focuses on opening one chakra per week. I was hoping for the heart chakra (for obvious reasons) and we did!  In therapy, Cee taught me how to focus on my emotions by looking within.  I used this practice during yoga meditation by finding the sadness and honing in on it. I finally figured out what made me depressed all weekend...I felt like everything was out of my control.

Last year I did everything I possibly could to find answers and get healthy. Last week was the first time in a while I had stressors not in my control.  On top of MDLL sadness, I was hit with bad allergies, the job scare, and crappy weather.  All of these things are out of my hands.

Maybe it's fear of the unknown.  Maybe I'm controlling. It's uncomfortable for me to admit the latter. It sounds so negative. Truthfully I can't imagine not being somewhat controlling when you're single.  How would anything get done otherwise?

Once I recognized the sadness and let it go, I felt better instantly. The cloud lifted and life was bright. In fact, I feel so much better now that it was hard for me to write about NOT feeling good over the weekend. It's like it never happened.

Happy Monday folks! I hope we all have a healthy and positive week ahead.

1 comment:

Jennifer Juniper said...