Monday, January 24

I hate this.

I went to work, got really nauseous and lightheaded again, and came home at 1pm. I slept until about 4pm and have been sitting here gchatting/trying to do work from home.

I feel like shit. I feel shittier than shit because I'm annoyed, embarrassed, and worried that my bosses are going to be upset with me. I'm supposed to go to Philly tomorrow, but I don't think that's happening.

Yesterday I felt so much better. I ran errands in the morning, ate a protein bar and some turkey slices, then went to Crazy Ass to watch the games. I didn't drink, ate some peanuts, a burger without a bun, some salad, and two french fries. I made it to halftime of the Jets game and had to go home because I was so tired again.

I don't know what's happening and it's really upsetting me. I've been through similar shit so many fucking times only to hear nothing is wrong and it's psychosomatic. Of course that's better than needing surgery or something, but I swear to Shizza if I'm doing this to myself because I can't manage my stress I will kill someone.

I honestly don't think that's the case, though. It really seems to be triggered by food, I just haven't figured out what food yet. I called my doctor today, but he was out. I'll try again later this week.

It's possible I haven't entirely kicked my stomach virus/intestinal flu from a couple weeks ago, but I didn't really believe that diagnosis to begin with. I just can't fucking believe I feel this crappy. The fatigue is like nothing I've ever felt before. I can barely keep my eyes open. My stomach doesn't really hurt. It's just really gurgly and knotted.

Today I ate half a banana and some turkey slices again. I'm trying to stay away from wheat and yeast as best I can, but shit, check out your nutrition labels. Everything has wheat or yeast, even the damn chicken broth I bought to ease my stomach. Gah!

Who knows, maybe I'm not allergic to those things, but it sure seems to be triggered by snackage like chips and pretzels. I was fine the past two weeks, although I was pretty tired Thursday on. Can I really get the flu twice in one month?

The timing of this cannot be any worse. Or maybe it could...I mean, if they were to fire me for being sick my first full week do I really want to work for these people?

Blerg. I hate this!

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