Friday, January 11

I can't stop crying...

from laughing so hard!!! My friend Joey just forwarded this email to me.

Here are some of the best fucking pick-up lines I have ever fucking heard...

3.) Let's play war. I'll lay down, and you have sex with my penis.

5.) You can either go out with me or receive the beating of a lifetime. Choice is yours.

7.) Your hair smells like bacon. Do you work at Denny's?

11.) My magic watch says you have genital herpes. You don't? Oh, then I guess it must be an hour fast.

12.) How much money would it take to let me to lick your asshole?

13.) Would you mind not telling anyone that I asked you out? You kind of look like a dude.

19.) "Knock knock." "Who's there?" *Long, psychotic gaze.*

20.) They call me Snowstorm, cause I give you 1-2 inches and make your life a bit more annoying for a week or so.

21.) This bar brings back great memories. Like that time I thought about forced sodomy on you a few minutes ago.

22.) That ass is so fine, I want to abandon you with child.

23.) I was hoping you could settle a bet between me and my friend here. He says your eyes are naturally blue, and I say that you're a filthy, dirty whore.

24.) I'd ask you to dance, but I'd rather save my energy for fucking you later.

30.) I've got a message for you. It's written on my dong.

31.) Sorry but it looks like someone removed the battery from your car. I'm no mechanic but I'm pretty sure we could solve this by fucking.

34.) Girl, if I could, I would write your name on the moon. But only if your name was Sue or Amy because I'm not spending a lot of time on it.

38.) I can make your dreams come true, if your dreams consist of fucking a slovenly German man on a bunch of empty pizza boxes.

40.) I've always wondered what it would be like to get a blowjob from Q-Bert. Do me a favor and jump up that set of stairs.

42.) Of all the women in the bar, you looked to me like the most likely to fuck a stranger.

43.) Cool tattoo. Do you have any on your vagina?

49.) I didn't want you to be the only chick in here tonight who didn't get hit on. It's good for your self esteem.

50.) How many drinks would I have to buy you to get you to come home with me? I'm not employed and I want to spend as little as possible.

1 comment:

Bridget Rockstar!! said...

okay, I totally love number 19. but you knew I would